What Makes A Woman Truly Beautiful

What is true beauty? What makes a woman truly beautiful?

I have exhausted my self lately on my personal quest of finding what true beauty is and what makes up a beautiful woman. I collected images of different women of all ages, races, colors and shapes... I read articles about remarkable women of our times, memoirs of ordinary women who lived extra-ordinary lives, watched movies about powerful women of my generation, captivated by the most loved and most hated women on TV and entertainment, and even consumed myself of beauty quotes that I would regularly post on my Facebook wall every now and then.... Most of the time, I found myself intoxicated with wisdom that profoundly brought clarity to me about the world and myself as a woman... 

MY PERSONAL AHA! MOMENT:

A woman's true beauty  is an experience that I invite to my life, that I feel within me, that I learn from others, that I empower my self with, that I enjoy to share, that strengthens me and everyone around me...

A TRULY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IS...

A mother who fights with all her strength beside her son who's battling leukemia.

A young mother who shines when she takes her baby to experience life's great adventures before he can even walk.  

A girl who behaves in public with grace and good manners saying 'thank-you', 'sorry',  and  'please', controls her lingo, and builds healthy relationships with her family members, friends, and colleagues.

A woman who loves her self and carries her self with confidence, whose heart-warming smiles brightens the day of every body whom she talks to, and not letting anything or anybody steal her joy.  

A single mother who listens to her daughter's pains, dreams and desires in life, who makes her feel loved, valued, important and assure her how beautiful she is.
 

Someone who lets nobody stop her from being great, for making a difference in the world, who loves what she does even if some people ridicule her passions, who inspires other women to embrace her talents and uniqueness, who brings honor to our country, who brings peace to the troubled and laughter to the lonely....

She doesn't even have to be a human... She could be a short furry four-legged beauty who would lick the tears off my face... 

I was floored when I found this quote that describes the most beautiful people...

Beauty is not something that we can buy or wear or can or can't afford to show off. It's not something that we inject on our face and body, either. So, let's not get caught up in our appearances when we look at our selves in the mirror to judge our own beauty. It's not someone else's job to tell us if we are beautiful or not. Being beautiful inside and out is a daily decision that we affirm to ourselves. 

So... I Think I'm Crazy To Think I Can Change The World

"What did I do to my self?"

I uttered these words after watching the movie "Evan Almighty" last weekend. This was Steve Carrell's movie years ago and I caught this scene where he was kneeling by his bedside, and he was awkwardly praying to God to help him change the world.

I remember I also prayed awkwardly to God to show me how I can change the world, starting in me... I prayed for Him to make me grateful, faithful, trusting, giving, loving, forgiving, to love myself more and to live an abundant and amazing life so I can inspire others... Then, I thought "what the heck I am thinking? Well, you are God and you put this crazy thought in my head".... And my life went on and I was very conscious ever since of what could possibly happen. Am I gonna be on TV, am I gonna be a big celebrity, am I gonna be in Dancing with the Stars.... How I wish! I went to work, read my usual books, went out with my friends, eat, relax, enjoy with my husband, watch funny movies, clean my house... Nothing too significant changed and I got a little frustrated and sometimes bored. In my mind, I was waiting for a big chance or opportunity where I would say... "This is it. I better keep my ducks in a row now, because I am just about to breakthough and change the world!" I can't wait to blog about it andtell you how amazing it was to be able to do that....

There was a scene in this "Evan Almighty" movie that struck me like a lightning, and it was when GOD (played by Morgan Freeman) said: 

Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

I never swear in my life, but I swear God spoke to me in that movie. For the entire week, I've been trying to digest this quote like I would digest a big slab of steak cooked to my well-done perfection (I'm hungry while writing this)... as it has given me hope and encouragement to embrace all these opportunities that are about to come to me so I can be "the change I want to see in the world"....

Crazily I thought, and humbly I felt... and surely I can testify that I had those opportunities come to me in my life, not just lately since I blogged about it, but for many years ago, since I can remember. I am grateful through times that I had plenty and times that I had none... I am faithful when I looked fear and doubt in the eye and cast it out of my sight, and trusted God at moments when I have given up on something I can not control (coz I'm such a control freak sometimes)... I am giving understanding and encouragement to others when that's all I can give... I am loving and caring for others by learning from them, appreciating them, seeing the good in them and overlooking their bad attitudes and terrible choices in life... I am forgiving myself and freeing myself of shame and guilt... I am loving myself by celebrating my uniqueness, appreciating my own body when I feel like criticising me because of my flaws... I think of my family and friends that I have helped and supported. I read the messages that I have sent to my loved ones or posted on my Facebook where I was encouraging them and sharing to them what I'm so passionate about. When I am lacking, I declare that God is providing me everything I need and I claim His plans to prosper me.  I inspire others by embracing my inner beauty through self-love, gratitude, positive thinking, wisdom and humility. I have shared great moments with my friends and loved ones through my comedy (I'm fabulously silly around my friends. I just love making others smile!). Those were the times that I do strongly feel that I truly live an abundant and amazing life.... just like what I prayed about.

So, I'm still going to change the world, and now, what?

What if I can be so stinkin' courageous and focus on loving myself so happily that the devil won't know what to do with me anymore? I personally feel very strongly passionate that this journey will be nothing but A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!  So, help me, God!

(PS: I refer "devil" to fear, doubt, worry, negative thoughts and influences, bad habits, insecurity, pride, selfishness, materialism, procrastination, trash, fat... etc.)

For the fun of it, here's the movie trailer of Evan Almighty. Whether you are inspired to change the world or build a boat, or simply finding your purpose in life, this religious comedy can enlighten you.

"Change" To Start In Me

One major aspect of this new challenge for me is to begin the change within me. Recently, I dared to define what true beauty means to me. So, I wrote it down, shared my Beauty Manifesto videos in Youtube, in my blogs and even created a Facebook fan page about it.  I realized after that project, I did not only define what true beauty means for me and but I also embraced the challenge of being the change I want to see in the world.

I felt an instant gratification for myself on that daring process, as it was the most liberating first step in living the change I want to see in the world. All my self-image consciousness, insecurity and judgment were washed down the drain. I have empowered myself to direct my life on my own terms, and not to be trapped on what others say I should live my life or how I should look. Living in a culture where negative self-criticism, self-hate and self-defeating opinions were encouraged as a norm in the media and our society, this is not the easiest process for me to turn it around. This first step alone takes courage, self-love and self-belief to fight the obvious.

As a result of this, I had clarity of who I am and what I want to be.... I no longer worry about others' opinion of me as it does not matter to me anymore. A few times now, I was able to express that "I don't really care now what people think or say of me"... and it really is amazing to say that. 

I hope to inspire you to have that autonomy and control of your own life and you will find your self to be much more powerful than what others think. You won't let other people's remarks influence you or make you embark on the journey of self doubt, just like what this song says...

So... I Think I Can Change The World

My new life purpose isn't only alive and breathing, but well communicated in my past job interviews and documented in my career blogs. At first, I did kind of felt weird and crazy, but as I went on following my intuition and passion... I instantly recognized that inside of me, there's this inspired energy that naturally comes out of me and made me glow when I was triggered by character questions like, "Why am I different?" or "What makes me stand out from the rest?" Being self-assured of who I am and confident to know what my true passion and life purpose is, this cliche made me open up the vulnerable side of me. Just being able to express my mind is the most liberating thing in the world.

After acquiring several habits over the years that strengthened my values and character and protected my thoughts and belief system, I've come to a decision that I can truly be in charge of my destiny. Without hesitation, I seriously dared to think I can change the world.... Then, I started to see things differently. I desired to think and do things differently. I no longer want to be average. I'm no longer fond of rules that will limit me. I no longer care if people will agree or disagree with me. I was constantly connecting the dots, and I have to keep looking... I should not stop. I can't be ignored.... This is in my mind every day. I feel it in every level of my being and emotion... No one can ever take this away from me.

One day this week, I had this overwhelming feeling and I was talking myself out of this craziness in my head. Am I ok? What is going on with my brain, so on and so forth.... So, in the essence of me un-thinking my thoughts and insulting my intuitive nature, I googled and typed the phrase "crazy thinking differently" (as that was my strong feeling of myself that moment).... To my surprise, I did not expect to see this video to be first in the list.


I'm no Steve Jobs, but he inspired me to remain foolish... to keep thinking what I'm thinking differently. So... I think I can change the world. That is my intention and opportunities come to me to make this into reality.

My Real Life Debunking of Beauty Myth

 I want to personally share to you all my fabulous readers - this amazing woman, Tara Starling, whom I met at the Ignite Your Spark Women's Conference. Please watch her video and you'll know why I'm following this brave and courageous woman in changing the world, one woman's beauty manifesto at a time.

For the last couple of years, I've been drawn to Youtube watching videos of makeup and fashion tutorials, beauty product reviews, especially beauty myths and other disturbing videos about how media is distorting women's images through extreme photo shopping and altering - and why in the world girls and women alike are obsessed about these doctored images of celebrities and models. What really threw me off lately are the videos of young girls asking viewers, "Am I ugly?" or "Am I Fat?", and letting the world judge them!

I remember, when I was a young girl, I struggled, too, and I was very conscious about my legs as they are not ideally skinny, like the models I see in the magazines. And I let the world judge me and be called "fat and ugly!" I carried this insecurity about my body until now, and I even used to joke to my family and friends, "Na ang mga pata kong ito ang magtatanggol sa lahat ng mag-aapi sa inyo!" (My thighs will defend you from all bullies!) That sarcastic and comic expression somehow helped me scare away my own (inner) bullies, and I'm now more accepting of my body image, and loving my beautiful legs that my Mama gave me! I even enjoy wearing dresses now that show off my legs with pride on how strong they have become!

Few months ago, I shared this "Love-your-legs-your-mama-gave-you" wisdom to one girl one time at work, and she told me how she wants me to be around her so she will feel better about her (self) "legs"... At that time, I felt inspired that I have a compelling message to women who have body image issues. And this "Taking Back Beauty Movement" is my perfect vehicle to reach them.

Lastly, I want to share with you all this "Beauty Myth" video I shared recently in my Facebook Fan Page, so you know what's all these "Beauty Myths" that the world is talking about!

The Million Beauty Manifestos - Taking Back Beauty Movement

I could not have dreamed of a bigger dream and challenge myself to do something that I've never done before in my life - than this one... I don't need to do this but I want to, and that's a good reason enough for me to pursue this "next chapter"!

I have appointed myself to become one of the VOICE and ADVOCATE of a new women's movement called TAKING BACK BEAUTY MOVEMENT. Its mission is to debunk all the lies about our own beauty (known as "Beauty Myths"), shift the society's definition of beauty (not only based it on how we look but how we live), and compel the media especially the beauty industry to portray women responsibly.

I have instantly become overwhelmed by this as this is a personal struggle that I can relate to my whole life. How many times have I looked at my Victoria's Secret catalog and looked at my self in the mirror with discouragement, asking myself, "Why don't I look like any of these women?" The beauty industry here in America has defined the perfect ideal beauty as tall, skinny-slim, blonde, flat tummy, big breasts, young, surgically enhanced, no stretch marks, no wrinkles, no pimples, no opinions, posing in some sexually suggestive manner and looking like she's floating.... So, most women and young girls could not relate to this "beauty", including my fabulous and curvacious self! I felt that the definition of beauty has been distorted by the media, that if you don't look like Barbie, you are ugly and unworthy!

This is not an issue of low self-esteem or having no confidence for women. The issue here is that the rest of us REAL women are buying these lies and believing that we are not enough, that we are not worthy, that we are not deserving, and no matter what we do, we can never be the ideal beauty that God created us to be.

To kick off my new mission, I have created a new video of myself inviting each one of you to participate with me in your own little way. I am ambitious enough to DREAM that I'd reach out to millions of fabulous women (of all sizes, race, color, or age) around the world and ask a million of you to define what true beauty means to you - and not what the media or your society or your culture tells you. Your own written words are so powerful enough to make a change within you, and believe that you are truly beautiful just like God made you to be, and that you are worthy enough and deserving to be loved and be respected just the way you are!

It's so easy to do this. Simply write down your own beauty manifesto in a piece of paper, take a photo of it with your self (if you'd like), then post it online at www.starlingtruebeauty.com/1millionstrong. And tell your loved ones about it! This will immediately create awareness to the media and beauty industry executives that WE, REAL WOMEN, should be portrayed in a realistic and respected manner. Thanks for your support for this worthy cause that will be changing the world one true beautiful woman at a time - starting from you.

Why I'm Telling My Story

I just recently changed the look of my confessions blog and wrote this preface under the title:

"The most important story I will ever tell is the story I tell to myself about myself. This story creates my reality and moves my life towards my passion and purpose." (I got this inspiration from Cassie Ashton, speaker at Ignite Your Spark).

I received few emails from random people before why I don't write my story anymore in this blog.... Now that I have time to update all my blog accounts, I read through my written history and realized that I have defined myself very well (especially in my Career Blog than in my personal blog). I was able to relate again to my old blog in 2010 about my"Ambition to Meaning." This brought vivid thoughts in my mind that I'm constantly in crisis when it comes to really knowing what my purpose is.

So, why am I telling my story now?

Most people just watch and wander around through their existence in this world and allow life and circumstances happen to them. Worse, they don't even know who they are, what they want to become so they let the world, the media or their loved-ones define them - sometimes in a harmful and self-destructing way. When I started blogging 4 or 5 years ago, I knew in my gut that I don't want to be one of those people who just went to work without passion, partied on the weekends and lived their life without purpose. I knew I was unique and I had to acknowledge my Creator and share my gifts to the world. But deep inside me, I continuously struggled to have to buy my own story and authenticity as I never claimed a clear purpose why I'm doing what I'm doing...

Those years of blogging about me, my experiences from childhood, my activities and dreams in life as a young adult, my challenging and humbling moments, and overcoming many obstacles here in the US - have defined me and my character just how I have written it. And powerfully, it has molded my destiny and prepared me to take my first baby steps toward greatness.

I've read a while ago that before I can convince others of my greatness, that I have to buy into my own story. I must define first my priorities, know my values and believe in my purpose. And only then I can effectively share my story, my service, my passion or myself to others.

I remind myself everyday that it's good to be humble, but I don't have to mumble my life away.... I just know like I know that I just have to sing this song inside me and see that my song is sung...


I could go on and on vaguely here, but I only want this one to be a foreword of what's coming up next here in my confessions blog. I have an exciting mission that I'd like to announce later to everyone... I just need to take a big deep breathe here and kick some left-over fear in the face!

Keeping my Spark Alive at IGNITE YOUR SPARK 2012

I spent two and a half days this weekend at the IGNITE YOUR SPARK 2012 National Leadership Conference for Women Changing The World in Salt Lake City. I'm proud to say that I've been part of this women's tribe since last year as I want to network with like-minded women of my kind - the fierce and independent woman who knows what she wants in life and decides to get it... the empowered woman who is in charge of her self and her future!

Last year, I came to network and be inspired by my favorite authors and speakers like Lisa Nichols, and find myself a mentor or a life and career coach. I believe in investing in myself personally and for my chosen sales profession. This year, I wanted to be inspired to find MY bigger purpose in life. I came with an open mind and an open heart to challenge myself to do something that I have never done before so I can have what I never had before...

I had three things on my list that I wanted to take away from this conference: First is to claim another dream. I'm in a career transition right now and I believe that I have lived my dream career from two years ago, and now I want to claim another bigger dream career in 2012. Second is to find that bigger purpose in my life, like be part of a new movement or volunteer in a group that serves women of all kind, age, size, race and circumstance in life to make them feel better about themselves - empower them in some ways that I can be truly passionate about... Last is to vulcanize my passion in living my legacy and keeping my spark alive as long as I love and live!

This transformational conference has been a compelling event for me personally. This marks the day in my life that I let my true passion and inspiration lead my life's decisions. I've learned throughout the past years that life is about deciding my possibilities in my career, the groups I choose to support, and in many other aspects of my life.

Before I continue and finally revive my writing of my story here in my blog, here's the inspirational introduction video of Ignite Your Spark.... And I hope you find a way to join us in 2013!