The most important story I will ever tell is the story I tell to myself about myself. This story creates my reality and moves my life towards my passion and purpose.
What else would be a unique and most memorable fun get-away with my new nephew, Robertson (his first trip to Utah!) - than a magical ride to The North Pole Express at the Heber Valley Railroad in our small hometown of Heber on Monday, November 22nd! So many families from all over came to experience this exciting 90-minute fun of singing Christmas carols, story reading, enjoying hot cocoa and cookie treat, never ending photo ops and meeting Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus in a historic train ride found only in our beautiful Wasatch Valley. This traditional Christmas theme ride is limited only for this season so take your families now to the North Pole Express. I highly recommend this to anyone with children as this is an experience they will cherish for a long time, just like we did!
My sister's (Diana) family Thanksgiving vacation in Heber turned out to be the most exciting when a friend of mine texted me on Wednesday morning and that she saw my picture in our local newspaper, The Wasatch Wave.... Clueless of me, I mentioned this to my sister and she remembered that it must be our train ride! We then rushed to our grocery store, and there my sister was - buying a stock of the newspaper to bring back home to Houston as their priceless memory of Heber, Utah!
Here's our Official Family Photo from the North Pole Express! See baby Robertson's Santa outfit - he prepared for this ride (nice job, mom Diana!)
Short video of us singing "Santa Claus is Coming To Town" on our way to North Pole! Priceless Family Fun!
"One day I will be free from this bad eyesight that I inherited from my father..." I told myself this Monday morning as I get ready to go to work and spend the next five days in my perky eyeglasses as a requirement to prepare for my Lasik consultation this Friday. As I looked consciously in the mirror before I go public at work in my four eyes, I can not deny that I saw a resemblance of my father in me.
So my father's birthday was this week (he's in the Philippines) and I thought of him a lot. I don't even remember the last time I was with him on his birthday. But I tried to remember all the times that he impacted me with strong core values such as, achieving academic and career success, creating a loving and trusting relationship, dealing well with people in authority, and a lot more. But the one that stood up in my mind was what he told me about beauty... that my beauty is power and a privilege.. that it is God's natural gift to me, and that I should use it to influence people in good ways.
Now that I'm more mature and I don't get to spend much time with my dad anymore, I have observed him a lot and understood why I am the way I am... Like my dad, I like strong over-flowing coffee with lots of sugar and cream. I love anything sweet, and anything greasy, like greasy peanuts, sisig, and Chinese food, especially pancit canton. I also inherited my dad's sense of humor and his charisma around people. I also got from my father his love of classic and country music, and his deep appreciation to simple life like nature trips and scenic views.
So I was listening to the music of my favorite country singer, Taylor Swift, and as I listened carefully to the lyrics of her new song "Never Grow Up"... a strong rush of emotion just overwhelmed me as I drove home that night. It was already getting dark fast and snowing lightly, and suddenly my tears were almost blinding me... I, then, remembered the scent of my dad's pomade, the gassy smell of his Renegade when he comes home from work, and when both him and my mom told me how fond they were of me when I was a baby and that they wished I "never grow up" and just stay pure and little... So as this song says...
Today, I posted a "heavy" remark on my Facebook (as I was so turned off to see lots of potty mouths when I checked my home page today,) and it goes:
Careless Teens on Facebook... Think before you post your stinky emotions. You may not be aware that what you communicate online is who you are to all who reads them. Google never forgets, so is your friends and your classmates, and your parents' and relatives' friends... so is your college admissions counselor and future employers...
When someone sees your Facebook statuses and you are BS-ing, F-ing, flirting, suggesting sexual acts, sharing racy photos and comments to others.... Remember that you have the whole world as your audience. Whether people know you or not, you are very susceptible to judgment because you and your thoughts are virtually exposed, unprotected, unguarded - whether you are just 9 or 99 years old.
If I could share with you all my perspective... It is a privilege to share something to the world but it comes with huge responsibility whether through blogging or posting on Facebook and other websites... I understand kids today goes through a lot of anxiety growing up, but if I'm smart, why would I share something that will ruin me later, affect my relationships and friendships, destroy my reputation, sabotage my dream career or dream college... And as a parent, why will I not do anything to correct this distasteful and regretful attitude?
So millions of you GLEE fans have watched the season premiere this week, with Charice as a guest! I like Glee not only because it's a musical high school comedy-drama but because I can relate to their theme of celebrating being unique, and expressing one's self in an artful and theatrical way.
When I was in high school, I remember I was very theatrical as well. I'm not known for dating boys and provocative behavior, but I was popular for my passion of performing on stage. I was very comfortable on spot light and it was my way of expressing my individuality. I'd not only sing and dance and act in our school's talent shows and town fiestas, but I'd compete in declamation contests, choir singing contests, group dance contests, and even one time in a science quiz bee! So I was very Gleek, indeed! I was never the cheer leader type, but I was a volleyball varsity player. I was not the valedictorian type either, but I was focused on pursuing my college dreams and ambitions in life.
I have always dreamt to be a stage or TV actress when I was young, but it was not my destiny. So, everytime I'd watch a musical or stage play, or even a live concert, I'd imagine myself that I was on stage... Oh, well. Dreams are free and so is imagination!
One of my favorite stage performances in Glee is this "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. The song is kind of real for me as I was a small town girl and I never really stopped believing and I'm still holding on to that feeling...
Earlier today, I posted in my Facebook status: What's the biggest mistake you've ever done in your life, and what did you do to make it right? (From Q&A in Miss Universe, controversial question to our Ms. Philippines). Then someone asked me how I would answer it, and I commented:
If I would be asked this tough question, here's my tough and honest answer.... The biggest mistake I've ever done in my life is foolishly trying to be perfect to please everyone. I've been tough on myself trying to compete all the time and comparing myself with others - believing that I am better or not better than everybody else.... What I did to make it right is simply appreciate myself for what I am blessed with and what I have to share to others and the world even if I can't be nearly perfect and can't please everybody - that I can be myself, love myself, laugh at myself and believe in myself to be simply the best that I can be in everything that I do... Trust me, life is so much easier to live when you're just yourself and not trying to be someone you're not. Thank you.
I posted this just for fun as our country's bet, Ms. Philippines - Venus Raj, has received massive criticism over her English and her non-winning answer... Sadly, she was feasted and judged by rude, arrogant and shameless Filipinos and other international critics all over the internet... most of them can't even write their criticism in English well online.
I wanted to defend Venus Raj somehow here in my blog as I am also a Filipina woman and I had my share of experiences in beauty pageants in my younger days. That question was a tough one for a 22 year old. What kind of "major, major mistake or problem" in life could a 22 year old girl like her ever have? I mean, she didn't drop out of college or did stupid things like eloped with some handsome loser? But instead, she fought her way to this Miss Universe pageant, from the bukid to Las Vegas, and just laughed at herself after realizing her answer on stage... For me, that's true bravery, and how many girls like her can ever do that?
She's obviously a "promdi" like me. I can relate to her being still naive at 22, and obviously being raised in a very well-sheltered family. Unfortunately, that gave her a disadvantage in winning the crown, but she's still the winner in many people's hearts, including mine.
For me, even though she's not a typical Filipina beauty - in my opinion, Venus Raj is a true Fabulous Pinay. At the end of the day, we all know that she represented our country very well and she made us proud being in the Top 5!
I found this video interview of Venus Raj that you all should see!
Another video interview of Venus Raj, just being herself and being funny. For me, the sexiest thing in any woman is that she can make fun of herself!
Going back to both my personal and career blogs early this year, I had this intuition that I am going to go through "something" this year. I was clueless but I was prepared. In January, I started taking short business classes that opened my mind to a lot more possibilities for me, and these personal and professional development workshops dared me to change in this unlikely time during the US recession. In April, I let go of my hotel sales career and with it, I let go of my greatest fears and inhibitions. I decided to follow my intuition (God) and somehow it led me to CLIMB a different mountain… In May, I decided to go public in my pursuit of my new dream career in computer software and technology sales.
Here, I wanted to share and inspire you all the four Fearless Steps that I had to take and made a difference in my life to following this dream, or any dream that I want to achieve in life:
STEP 1: Killing my “Mind-Evils” It’s my ultimate battle. These mind-evils are doubts, fears, shame, distrust, guilt, pride, pressure, stress, weakness, criticisms, depression, loneliness, rejection, discouragement, failure, worry…. I could go on and on. I call it “mind-evils,” because these only existed in my mind and they are destructive… Flushing these out of my mind is the most important step, and the hardest first step that I took… If I can do it, you can, too.
STEP 2: Unleash my “Mind-Powers” It’s my ultimate win. These “mind-powers” are achievement, success, positive attitude, quadruple self-belief, gratitude, confidence, contentment, courage, hope, love, faith, goals, happiness, peace, trust, responsibility, God’s will, and BIG, BIG PRAYERS…. If you read my daily Facebook status, you see that I feed my mind only with positive quotes and surround myself only with positive people. If I can do it, you can, too.
STEP 3: Empower my “Mind-Visions” It’s my ultimate prize. Many times, I said to myself: If I know where I’m going, I know I’m gonna get there…. If you tell me to shoot the apple, I’ll shoot the apple... If I want to race, I want to race to win…. I call these my “mind-visions” and they are powerful so I practice this all the time. When I had to go through some adversity or challenge in my life, or even if I just set myself to reach a personal goal, I focused on the end-result that is favorable for me. If I can do it, you can, too.
STEP 4: Look what I have become… It’s my ultimate pleasure…. To look back and see what I have become in the process. These are the moments that I remember most of… the learning experiences that I cherish the most. In my career change and job search during the peak of the US recession, for example, I had to do amazing things that I’ve never done before (that I thought I could never do)…. I pushed myself to my limits until I had unleashed my most daring and most powerful version of my self. If I can do it, you can, too.
Here’s my song to remember my journey, (THE CLIMB by Miley Cyrus) and I dedicate this to all men and women who are ready to push themselves to their limits and find their most daring, and their most powerful self inside of them, and cherish the climb.....
No matter how sophisticated and grown-up we become, everyone has her insecure days. In this excerpt from her new book, Eve Ensler celebrates the true power of a woman (you guys know I'm all about that, right?). I got this from an editorial at Glamour magazine, and wanted to share to all emotional men and women, so read on.
Dear Emotional Creature:
I believe in you. I believe in your authenticity, your uniqueness, your intensity, your wildness. I love the way you dye your hair purple, or hike up your short skirt, or blare your music while you lip-synch every single memorized lyric (now, that's more like me!). I love your restlessness and your hunger. You possess the energy that, if unleashed, could transform, inspire and heal the world.
Everyone seems to have a certain way they want you to be - your mother, father, teachers, religious leaders, politicians, boyfriends, fashion gurus, celebrities, girlfriends. In reporting my new book, I learned a very disturbing statistic: 74 percent of young women say they are under pressure to please everyone. (You and I included...)
I have done a lot of thinking about what it means to please; to be the wish or will of somebody other than yourself. To please the fashion setters, we starve ourselves. To please men, we push ourselves when we aren't ready. To please our parents, we become insane over-achievers. If you are trying to please, how do you take responsibility for your own needs? How do you even know what your needs are? The act of pleasing makes everything murky (murky means dark or gloomy). We lose track of ourselves. We stop uttering declaratory sentences. We stop directing our lives. We forget what we know. We make everything OK rather than real.
I have had the good fortune to travel around the world. Everywhere I meet teenage girls and women giggling, laughing as they walk country roads or hang out on city streets. Electric girls. I see how their lives get hijacked, how their opinions and desires get denied and undone. So many of the women I have met are still struggling late into their lives to know their desires, to find their way.
Instead of trying to please, this is a challenge to provoke, to dare, to satisfy your own imagination and appetite. To take responsibility for who you are, to engage. Listen to the voice inside you that might want something different. It's a call to your original self, to move at your own speed, to walk with your step, to wear your color.
When I was your age, I didn't know how to live as an emotional creature. I felt like an alien. I still do a lot of the time. I am older now. I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting. It has taken me so many years to be OK with being different, with being this alive, this intense. I just don't want to have to wait that long.
Love, Eve Ensler
(Eve Ensler's new book is I am an Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World.)
A close friend of mine sent this via email to me last week and I have shared this with few of my friends as well. I thought this was worthy of a blog post. This story means different things to me.... one is, if you position your message well and positively, you can get better results in life. So, cheer on and the world will cheer back to you!
A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.
A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"
The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way." I wrote: "Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it."
Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.
When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling. And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it. If you like, share.
My life is always joyous and meaningful in a lot of simplier ways, and I had a glimpse of this joy and meaningfulness when I visited my family in Houston back in April, saw my dad and my mom again after a loooong time... and met the "other man" who gave new sparkles in my eyes... He is my nephew, Robertson, and my dad called him "Betsoy"... ha-ha-ha!! I knew then that when I came back home to Utah, my life will never be the same again. I was right so!
This past month of April passed by too fast and too furious for me, and shame on me that I had no single post! When I get all my pictures in my Houston visit loaded here in my laptop, I'd like to share with you all here in my blog why my recent birthday (yes, I'm older again!) was the most fun of all!
Today, I have updated my Blogger Profile "About Me" as it was inspired by a verse that was discussed in the church I attended today. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline. 2 Tim 1:7"
Here's my blog-worthy "About Me"... I am a self-taught and self-empowered motivator, and I believe in the power of my personal written words. I use my blogs as an extension of my being, my doing, my thoughts, my creation, my power, my discovery of my destiny… I am ambitious and I set myself to achieve success and to realize all my dreams. I believe that God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline. (2 Tim 1:7). This is why I believe I can do amazing things and can manifest all my personal potentials and greatness that God gifted me. Although this makes me feel like I’m not humble enough, but when you believe that your potentials and greatness are your gift back to the world, you can be astounded when you can touch someone’s life with it… contribute to make the world a better place, make life more meaningful and God’s grace a delight to experience.
Hello friends! How's April Fool's day treating you? Recently, I was challenged to handle a very awkward situation. When I want to make a big change in my life and when I want to move forward with clear conscience, it is important for me to make sure that I am not carrying a "baggage" inside me.
I knew that I had to do this at one point, and that right time came when I need to finally make this call to this person and deal with some senseless issues (that are just time-wasters for me). You are now probably wondering, "what the heck am I talking about?" Well, I wanted to blog about this experience because I want to teach others "how to be frank with purpose" to someone close to them and how to leave the conversation without feeling guilty or having to regret that you were able to say what you need to say to that person.
So... how can you be frank to some one with purpose? I said, "with purpose." What an AHA moment! This is so interesting and I'm laughing at myself now, as this topic is so cliche to me! I feel like I'm Oprah here! Ha-ha!
Being frank "purposely" is like beating someone in the head but hoping he didn't end up mentally retarded. That's a joke! But seriously, it is saying an awful truth to some one's face even if it hurts to say it but that's the only way to say it so it sticks to some one's head.... No sugar coating, but just saying the plain and ugly truth (be frank), and telling this person that you are sorry for his circumstances... But this is not your problem and none of your business (with purpose). Then move on.
This is not my first time to be frank purposely with someone. I've done this a number of times and it may feel bad at first, because I may be perceived as "not nice" but eventually, I will thank myself for saving me some frustration or grief at some point. Now, when you have the guts to be frank, don't be rude and don't let emotions rule you, but speak humbly and do it with class and then move on with poise!
Hello to all my fabulous friends out there! I wanted to change to a friendly tone from now on here in my blog. I want to sound like how I would talk to you, if you ever met me in real life. I'm always bubbly and fun, and I thought that's how this fabulous blog should be... like me for real.
I have updated the look of my confessions blog today, because it needed a new face and a new spirit. It's been soooo long and it has begged me for a makeover and a face lift and two shots of botox! So did you like my new updated fresh look? I'm sure you won't miss the old cowgirl here.... ha-ha-ha!
It's been a couple of weeks since I blogged and let me tell you, I've been busy! I've been busy in FACEBOOK, seriously! It has been my outlet to find and share my joy and inspiration to my friends. I was micro-blogging there almost daily and it was sooo fun, especially to interact with new and old friends and my kababayans.
So I liked posting quotes that emphasizes on the things that I wanted to attract to come to me... like success, love, patience, relationship, friendship, overcoming fear, even reading! Whatever I felt passionate about that day. Until one day, I got a comment that I should post my own quotes... after some few blah moments, I finally found my own keys to my own wisdom box! Here's what I quoted:
"It's not the perfect hair, make-up, teeth, outfit, or figure that makes a woman truly beautiful. It is what she believes and feels inside.... It is her value and wisdom. It is her power and humility. It is her grace and kindness." By Czarina Trinidad 3/18/2010
I thought that was pretty good for my first original one! I want to discuss this further in my next post so keep checking me here if you want to hear what I have to say about a topic that I'm passionate about.
Didn't you have to come down to your knees at one point in your life, and ask yourself "What do I want to be when I grow up?"
Back in January, one of my clients had asked me this and I had a brain-freeze because of too much Cheetos, I was seeing lots of orange. I thought I knew myself too well... but sadly, I had no clue at that moment.
When I was a kid, I thought, "I wanted to become a nurse, or a lawyer." Then when I was in college, I thought, "I wanted to become a flight attendant." The reality after college, I chose to go a different path, and worked in a prestigious 5-star hotel in Manila and aimed for a sales manager position, which had been the case as I had planned. I migrated to the US, married my best friend and made some of our dreams come true. So, I thought I already have a pretty good success story, but I was not convinced... It's not even close.
Let's go back to answering this cliche question of what I wanted to be when I grow up... This is almost like a very spiritual moment for me. I prayed really hard.
I remember my favorite Bible verse. If ever there was a case that every Christian should "own" a verse, here's mine: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13. I have this engraved in my heart since 1999.
It was truly an AHA moment when I looked back in my blogs and in almost all of my public profiles, as I found the answers there. Part of what I wanted to be when I grow up, aside from becoming a professional career woman that I am now, is to become a model, an actor, and a writer.
In my biggest leap of faith this year, I have planned to set myself to success, to empower myself to create opportunities to achieve all these lost childhood dreams, and mentally picture this happening in my mind and affirm every day that "with God, nothing is impossible" (Luke 1:37). To start living and breathing this affirmation, I have started creating a "Memoir" of my self, and bought my own domain, http://www.czarinatrinidad.com/. In this personal website, I will write my life's purpose and dreams... my own mission and vision... and it will be out there in the world to see on how God faithfully declared His plans for me.
Johnny Weir is my favorite American Figure Skater. I've been a big fan for a long time. I've been looking for Johnny Weir's video of his short program performance in Vancouver this week and no luck on that. This video that I just embedded here (from the US Championship back in January where he qualified to compete in the Olympics) is the same performance and costume of his "I love you I hate you" performance this week in Vancouver.
I wanted to share here his video performance because he's so graceful and his fun and free spirited personality really shines... I can see myself in him! Even if he only ended in the 6th place in the Olympics, he differentiated himself and he stood out above the rest... He's earned more fans than the others. I can see in all his performances that he is realizing all his dreams on ice, whether he wins a medal or not. His passion and belief in himself affirms "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I'm strong, I'm fabulous, I can do it!" That's exactly what the Fabulous Pinay affirms to herself every day.
I was just a newbie here in Utah when Salt Lake City hosted the 2002 Winter Olympics. I lived then in Park City where most events happened. I have become a huge fan since then having seen some of these live competitions where I almost froze to death. I have enjoyed the women's moguls and ski racing, the half-pipe snowboarding, figure skating, and even the most absurd ones like the ski jumping, luge, skeleton and bobsled.
Last night, my husband and I, and the kids, welcomed in our living room the Canadians' opening night celebration and the first day of the 17-day 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver. It was awesome yet intimate, and I was once again proud of my US and Canadian Teams!
But sadness still glooms the room because of the death of this young luger from Georgia. Knowing few olympians here in Park City, I knew how much you have to go through to be even qualified to race in the olympics, and to be the best of the best to represent your country.
In 2002, when I was at the Utah Olympic Park, where the ski jumping, luge, skeleton and bobsled events was held... I only have one thought of these althletes. They are CRAZY and out of their minds! The ski jumpers jumps up 120 meters high and lands on their skis, must be paper thin and short like 5 feet, and the luge, skeleton and bobled (should be tall like 5'10" and heavy) races more than 90 miles an hour. I can't even imagine driving my car that fast at 90 mph!
I'm sure I'll have more fun stories of this winter Olympics later on. But for now, I mourn with some fans.
My mind hurts for just thinking of what could be so inspirational about me to talk about here. When I just wanted to be silly and goofy and a little mean sometimes (because I really don't get to do that in real life!) Let's see if these recent situations can count...
Last night I was in Walgreens to get a few items, and all of a sudden, I felt the ground shaking around me when I heard this little girl screaming at the top of her lungs! I went around the other aisle to check what was that about, and saw this toddler throwing everything out of her mom's cart while crying her soul out from her potty mouth (telling her mom to shut up!). What I saw was this little wrathful villain child giving her poor mother some bloodbath in the baby aisle. Alright, I love to have a kid, but no, thanks. I thought that was inspiring for me to just keep a simple life.
In the news this evening is about this mom in Salt Lake who blogged about her encouter in saving her baby from drowning. She got 200,000+ hits in her blog. I thought that was inspiring on how to popularize my blog. Maybe I can share here that early this week, I panicked in tears when I gave a small grilled pork chop with small bone to my boy Shih Tzu, Shilo, and he just swallowed the whole thing! I screamed and cried like a mad woman while I was rubbing my dog and I was worried that it will get stucked in his throat, or intestines, or that it will puncture his internal organs, and cause him to bleed to death, so I was ready to call 911! My husband came running down and saw me shaking the poor dog upside down and he tried to calm me down! How can I calm down when Shilo could die because he swallowed this bone that I gave him? My husband comforted me and told me, "It's just a little bone, honey. It will come out so just watch out for it." I've been watching it to come out for 3 days now, and there's nothing... Shilo is alive and well and still begging me for some more pork chop. So, was that drama inspirational enough?
I had called an interview with my alter-ego, Fabulous Pinay, today to straighten out both our identities here. My goal is to pick her brain and see if I could convince her to take on a challenge for me.
ME: Hello, Fabulous Pinay. I wanted to comment about your earlier blog as you were sort of mocking me, and you were trying to make fun of my new career blog.
FP: First of all, I wanted to say hello to all my fans out there! And thank you for meeting with me today, Miss Sasha Fierce.
ME: My name is Czarina Trinidad, and not Miss Sasha Fierce. Fierce is the word that I used a while back to define my self reinvention. As you know, I have started my new blog about my personal branding project and I am just concerned that your identity may be hurting what I'm trying to do.
FP: I know what you're trying to do. You wanted to be more FAMOUS than me. You are just jealous because I'm cuter and funner!
ME: I am not jealous at all. But I do wanted to be just as FAMOUS as you. I just wanted to ask you if you could stop mocking me.
FP: Did you get offended when I said you could eat men for lunch? Then spit them out? Whip and kick them? Not let them rule and walk all over you?
ME: Let's be serious here. I wanted to ask you if you could reinvent yourself as well. Like be an expert of something and write about it. Maybe you could gain more readers. For example, are you an expert in fashion? Do you have an opinion?
FP: OMG! I want to tell those women wearing these horrible looking shoes. Those boots called UGG for ugly. And those called Crocs for crocheads! Why do women think they're cute in it? I don't care if they're comfy... it looks retarded to me. I'm sorry. I can never be caught dead on those shoes.
ME: I appreciate your opinion, although a little outrageous there with some risky words. That is something that I was hoping you could change to something positive about the way you say things in this blog. Can you take that challenge? Like to sound inspirational? For example, can you say something "nice" about ambitious women?
FP: Hmmm... I want to say something nice about the men in the lives of these ambitious women, like their husbands for example.
ME: Okay, go on. If I'm your reader, I want to hear something positive.
FP: There is nothing hotter than a man who cheers his wife to succeed and achieve her dreams, and there is nothing sexier than a man who is not intimidated by her ambitions and her shoes.
ME: That's fantastic. Can you take my challenge to be the new inspirational Fabulous Pinay in this blog? As they say, keep writing something nice and nice readers will come. And you can still be cute and fun!
FP: Oh, thank you, Miss Sasha Fierce! I can take that anytime.
Wait a minute. Who is this new chic trying to face me out here in my own fabulous vlog? Who is this "what's your fierce face" talking about changing "what's your fierce tone" here in my vlog? No, no, no. The Promdi gal may have left but the Fabulous Pinay still rules this blog and remains the queen. I am fun and I am cute, and there ain't no changing me.... There is no intervention happening in this place. Sorry to my audience if I'm ruining your expectations.
So, here's my word to you, Miss I Am Sasha Fierce Your Face.... You can get your own blog and write about what you do, and what you are fierce about. You can talk about what you're good at like empowering yourself and becoming some high powered career woman in teased hair, dark lips, black suit and pointy stilettos eating men for lunch and then spitting them out.... But aren't you that already? So what else is there to talk about....
Okay, stop this alter-ego now.
What I'm trying to say here really is that I have created a new blog that you all should be aware of and this is my new URL, http://czarinatrinidadatwork.blogspot.com/. Since I can't be the real me here in the Confessions of a Fabulous Pinay blog anymore (never, ever)... I thought it will be nice if I can be just a normal human being like everyone else with unique passions, career goals, talents to share and dreams to fulfill... and write about it (of course!). So if you know me and wanted to watch out what I'm doing to become a better person and a dynamic professional in 365 days... Please cheer me if you believe in me...you have to subscribe and follow my new blog that I call "My Personal Branding Project."
Ok, Fabulous Pinay, you can have your own lights, camera, action, now.
I have a personal testimony to make. Far long ago, sometime in 2009, something must have happened to me that I never noticed until now. I was unconsciously changing myself - in the big sense of the word. I feel that my Fabulous Pinay alter-ego here is barely hanging in there with all her heart and wit.... because the Promdi girl that I once knew is no longer existent... What a sad day for me to finally say goodbye to my older promdi version and let her lay to rest in peace now, leaving us all her wonderful and fun stories of a small girl in a small town with big dreams.... I'm glad she was able to write her stories in my blog at the very start called the Promdi Series, and now her memories will forever live.
Few weeks ago, I admitted that I have changed. I don't know how long ago, but I have reinvented my whole self. I didn't know how it became possible, but I am liking now my new version. I want to call it my FIERCE version. Fierce has a lot of definition. But the one that matched my fierceness is the one that means "furiously eager and intense," "powerful," and "passionate". Or better yet, in the slang dictionary, it means "really good." Like some fierce coffee!
2009 was a tough year for me and for a lot of people here in America. I decided that if I had to do something different, it will be to change and reinvent myself to keep up with the ever changing trends in the work force industry. So I became more daring, more fearless, more courageous, more adventurous, more valuable, more visible, and more motivated. I can't even remember if I blogged about it, but I knew I had something going on in me. And this is me now.
In short, I am changing my tone and point of view from now on here in my Confessions of a Fabulous Pinay blog. The Fabulous Pinay has now grown up in her journey in this blog. She is now a woman of strength and inspiration. She will no longer insult her waistline, humiliate her weakness to Cheetos, underestimate her confidence in her dreams, or under appreciate her un-motherhood, and will no longer degrade other women who refuse to wear bras... or to promote smelling like mexican food if she needs to go to a mexican car repair place... or to encourage other straight married women to fall in love with Adam Lambert's adorable gayness. She may still be funny and witty when appropriate, but her main purpose now is to share more of her true self and in the long run, may no longer use an alter ego.
I'm balling right now, oh well, since last night. Not because I have to shovel this one foot snow from the overnight storm that dumped on us, but because I was listening to Carrie Underwood's new song, 'Temporary Home" from Youtube as I wanted to share it in my Facebook. Now I can't help but to blog about it...
I try to avoid watching depressing news everyday but I can't ignore anymore this recent apocalypse in Haiti. This is a sign of the times. A big flashing neon sign from our Creator and He is telling us that this is only our temporary home.
I can relate to this song personally. It is powerful and deep. And I don't have to go as far as Haiti to tell you... But I just have to look around me, at people I know who are my closest friends and relatives... Kids struggling through their parents' divorce, teens not getting the right attention, single moms who try to make ends meet to support their children, sick people fighting for their lives, or ordinary families just simply working so hard in America to keep their house and their jobs in this unstable economy... and I can go on and on.
I know this is only a temporary home for me, so whatever great opportunities come my way, I have to grab it... Whatever sadness and adversities, I have to win it. Whatever prosperity and success, I have to share it. Whatever daily blessings, I have to be grateful for it. Whenever God gives me one more day to live, I want to make it a happy day. And that's my choice.
Check out this new beautiful song of my favorite singer, Carrie Underwood. And I hope that whatever your temporary home is like, I hope you believe that you can have a choice to make it worthwhile, even for just a day.
Last month, I got us a new PS3/Blu-Ray Player. I now know the difference of high definition TV, and I never expected it could change my life forever. HDTV, if you'll let me define it, means I now can see Megan Fox's sweat and freckles, Angelina Jolie's deep wrinkles, Amy Adam's pores and blemishes, and Meryl Streep's fine lines all over her face, and I thought that was just absurd and unreal. I brought my quest and addiction to this high definition vision to my eye doctor yesterday during my annual eye exam, and I asked him that I want a super power high definition contact lenses! And gladly he said, that there is now such a thing and it's called toric lenses, and guess what, they even have it in my Freshlook Colorblends in color green!
Constipation. Yes, I want to talk about it. I thought I was going through such miserable phase of my life this week when I felt my body is refusing to you know what. I blamed it on my cold medicine. I blamed it on the weather. And I blamed it on my PMS. I even blamed my dogs. I finally realized that this is only a state of my mind. So here's what I did, instead of me stressing out and thinking about bloating, breaking out more blemishes, shame and hair loss, etc. because of this constipation, I have to reverse my thinking. So I thought about thinking about the toilet. Like how beautiful it is, and how peaceful I can be when I'm in the toilet. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. And it worked and it's over.
For you all following my talent audition blog, I did get a call last week, and they wanted me to come back for a second audition and workshop with a casting director in late Feb. I may sound excited in my blog but the reality here is that I thought I walked in in a wrong audition. I was hoping it was a modeling audition! So I thought this second invitation was unexpected. But hey, I plan to show up and see what this audition really is all about and if this has any part of my future. Stay tuned.
You must have seen somewhere here in my blog page that I described myself as an "Actress-Model wannabe"... Well, today was a big day for me as I had a chance to turn back and see if this long lost childhood dream is still alive and breathing....
Today, I went to a talent audition here in Park City. I was very excited. So I did what I have to do to prepare for it. Last night, I turned down a dancing and clubbing party with my friends, and healed my sinus headache, cold and sore throat. I gargled, cleansed my nasal passages with the Neti Pot, and knocked myself out with Benadryl. I woke up this morning feeling so much better and thought that it will be a very interesting day. But I don't know what to expect. All I know is they are looking for actors, models and voice over talents.
Is this an audition for America's Next Top Model, or for a new Victoria Secret campaign? I was hoping for the second one! Will I be ready to strip down my shirt and shoot a testimonial of how this Miracle Bra changed my whole life? What accent am I going to use when they make me talk? I practiced with my husband if I sound convincing with my Russian accent, or if I should talk like Penelope Cruz. And not only that, the big deal for me was... What am I going to wear? Should I arrive in this audition like a dazzling and glittery Hollywood celebrity in a spectacular furry and sequined outfit, or should I wear my tiara and ballgown and sparkly gloves and my angel wings like some enchanted Princess.... Whatever! I didn't want to be late so I looked like what I looked like yesterday going to work.
It was held at the Silverado Lodge at the Canyons Resort in Park City at 12 noon. There were few kids, and a couple of older people at that time... so I thought, this is not going to be very competitive and I felt comfortable right away. After filling out a couple of forms, they made me practice a short dramatic script. My character was Scarlet, a frustrated, undereducated 36 year-old woman married to her unsupportive husband, Mike, in a heartbreaking scene... and I'm supposed to show some tears somehow when I said the lines... "and now it's all my fault! (pause) But I never asked you to marry me."
The frustrated actress in me was reconceived and was reborn at that very moment when I was whispering my lines as I practiced behind my big hair, trying to sink in to that emotional character. The photo shoot and filming only took a couple of minutes. I looked at the camera as Scarlet as I said all my lines emotionally, and broke into tears, a la superstar Nora Aunor.
So that was my day! Hopefully they'll call me back in two weeks for a second round of audition. (So I can blog about it more!!) So, wish me luck!
I had a reunion with my Dad and my sister again in California in February. Believe it or not, this is at my Uncle's wake, but we're all smiling!
I met my one and only godmother, Cora Lua (2nd to the right), for the very first time in my life during my uncle's wake in California last February. A surprise birthday for my wonderful husband in February! An unplanned birthday party for me in April. A Peninsula Reunion in California in May! And my reunion to my old fling, Mr. Jose Cuervo.
A fun day in the sun in Malibu Beach with Ronald.
A girls Tea party in the summer time!
A country wedding of a friend last July.
I hosted a Miss Asia Utah Pageant at the Asian Festival in Salt Lake City. With me are the judges (former beauty queens) and my wonderful friends in the valley.
My cousin's wedding in California in October and my reunion with my family there.
Zermatt Resort Sales Department during the Halloween. I was a Japanese Doll!
Thanksgiving Party at our house with our friends!
At the 96th floor of the John Hancock Tower in Chicago! I took my husband for a drinking challenge one night. We were not caught "walking under the influence!" It was very memorable.
Zermatt Sales Holiday Party at my place!
Trinidad Family (in Utah) Holiday Photo Shoot! New Year's Eve Party with my closest friends! What a HOOT!
Leaving 2009 as a royalty in my own world!
Our family's highlight and best Christmas blessing of the year! My brand new nephew in Houston... Everyone, meet Baby Robertson!
Now I can see that my life is a party after all!
And I am blessed having a loving family and supportive friends!
2009 was a very good year! MWAH 2009 and more MWAH for 2010!
That's what personal blogs are all about, especially my blogging. I had an issue about that, too. (Oh, yeah, I'm not done about my issues, yet!) I've been doing this for a while now and it became a fun hobby and routine for me, and sometimes, I think that people thought of me as a super self-absorbed and a self-centered diva.... an egotistical, narcissistic, selfish, arrogant bitch! That's true. But that's not true. OK, fine, it is true. That's what it's supposed to be.
People read my personal vlogs because they want to know me and they hope I have something funny to say. I write my blog to share my thoughts and extremely important experiences and highlights of my day, or of my life in general. For example, my silver white hair shining on top of my head, or my smelling like Mexican food.... When I say something cliche, or a metaphor, symbolizing me or my emotions and opinions, readers react differently and they can take me so seriously. It was really not a big deal but I get bothered at times. I have to get over that, and be like Paris Hilton, who just smiles all the time, whether she's loved and hated at the same time.
But who the hell cares! I shouldn't. This is my blog and I'm going to own it. So enough with my tenth round of blogging issues, and let's start talking about the reality star of this awesome vlog... ME, ME, ME, ME!
I didn't realize for sometime now that I have not been writing as much lately and I must have lost all my readers, if I ever had any. They must have thought that I was just another lame blogger after all. My 2009 confessions was not impressive to me at all.
I know what kind of happened to me. I believe this happens to a lot of new bloggers who are confused about their niche! I have no niche, period. I could not identify with any niche in blogging and that's hard. This is not a diet or beauty blog. It is not a travel, tourism, art, music, food, political or technical blog. That means that if I want to make this blogging work for me in an ideal world, I need to identify my audience and give them something that they want. I thought I failed in that category as this blog is too personal and I don't know if I have something to give to any audience at all.... And then I stopped blogging.
But what the heck? I knew few friends enjoyed reading my thoughts and my funny childhood stories. And even some few people I don't know from the other side of the globe. I must have given them something they like. Something that I can connect with them. I don't know what it is but there is this little spirit in me that said "keep blogging, keep blogging!!"
And that's what I'm going to do. Confessions must go on! All say now, AMEN!
Last night as my husband was driving home from Salt Lake City, I told him that my van (yes, I drive a Dodge Mommy Van!) has "Service Engine Soon" lighted for a while now, and I asked him what should I do. He suggested that I bring my van to this mexican auto repair place in town to have it checked.
ME, dramatic: I feel I'm always getting ripped off by these mexican auto repair place, like they charge me more than they should....(didn't tell him that sometimes I feel they look at me like they haven't seen a woman before.)
Hubby, smarty: Next time you go to a car repair shop, you should not look like you, you know what I mean? Leave all your bling-bling and high heels at home, take off your make up, mess up your hair, wear a baseball cap, wear some sweat pants, and smell like habanero sauce... then you will not be ripped off.
ME, thinking: OK. So I need to look like Maxima Lavandera, and smell like mexican food.... That's HOT!
I thought my van said "Service Engine Soon" and not "Service Make-Under Soon".....
