What I Really Wanted To Be When I Grow Up...

Didn't you have to come down to your knees at one point in your life, and ask yourself "What do I want to be when I grow up?"

Back in January, one of my clients had asked me this and I had a brain-freeze because of too much Cheetos, I was seeing lots of orange. I thought I knew myself too well... but sadly, I had no clue at that moment.

When I was a kid, I thought, "I wanted to become a nurse, or a lawyer." Then when I was in college, I thought, "I wanted to become a flight attendant." The reality after college, I chose to go a different path, and worked in a prestigious 5-star hotel in Manila and aimed for a sales manager position, which had been the case as I had planned. I migrated to the US, married my best friend and made some of our dreams come true. So, I thought I already have a pretty good success story, but I was not convinced... It's not even close.

Let's go back to answering this cliche question of what I wanted to be when I grow up... This is almost like a very spiritual moment for me. I prayed really hard.

I remember my favorite Bible verse. If ever there was a case that every Christian should "own" a verse, here's mine: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13. I have this engraved in my heart since 1999.

It was truly an AHA moment when I looked back in my blogs and in almost all of my public profiles, as I found the answers there. Part of what I wanted to be when I grow up, aside from becoming a professional career woman that I am now, is to become a model, an actor, and a writer.

In my biggest leap of faith this year, I have planned to set myself to success, to empower myself to create opportunities to achieve all these lost childhood dreams, and mentally picture this happening in my mind and affirm every day that "with God, nothing is impossible" (Luke 1:37). To start living and breathing this affirmation, I have started creating a "Memoir" of my self, and bought my own domain, http://www.czarinatrinidad.com/. In this personal website, I will write my life's purpose and dreams... my own mission and vision... and it will be out there in the world to see on how God faithfully declared His plans for me.

Intervention of My Self Reinvention

I have a personal testimony to make. Far long ago, sometime in 2009, something must have happened to me that I never noticed until now. I was unconsciously changing myself - in the big sense of the word. I feel that my Fabulous Pinay alter-ego here is barely hanging in there with all her heart and wit.... because the Promdi girl that I once knew is no longer existent... What a sad day for me to finally say goodbye to my older promdi version and let her lay to rest in peace now, leaving us all her wonderful and fun stories of a small girl in a small town with big dreams.... I'm glad she was able to write her stories in my blog at the very start called the Promdi Series, and now her memories will forever live.

Few weeks ago, I admitted that I have changed. I don't know how long ago, but I have reinvented my whole self. I didn't know how it became possible, but I am liking now my new version. I want to call it my FIERCE version. Fierce has a lot of definition. But the one that matched my fierceness is the one that means "furiously eager and intense," "powerful," and "passionate". Or better yet, in the slang dictionary, it means "really good." Like some fierce coffee!

2009 was a tough year for me and for a lot of people here in America. I decided that if I had to do something different, it will be to change and reinvent myself to keep up with the ever changing trends in the work force industry. So I became more daring, more fearless, more courageous, more adventurous, more valuable, more visible, and more motivated. I can't even remember if I blogged about it, but I knew I had something going on in me. And this is me now.

In short, I am changing my tone and point of view from now on here in my Confessions of a Fabulous Pinay blog. The Fabulous Pinay has now grown up in her journey in this blog. She is now a woman of strength and inspiration. She will no longer insult her waistline, humiliate her weakness to Cheetos, underestimate her confidence in her dreams, or under appreciate her un-motherhood, and will no longer degrade other women who refuse to wear bras... or to promote smelling like mexican food if she needs to go to a mexican car repair place... or to encourage other straight married women to fall in love with Adam Lambert's adorable gayness. She may still be funny and witty when appropriate, but her main purpose now is to share more of her true self and in the long run, may no longer use an alter ego.

The Hannah Montana in Me

I personally related to Hannah Montana in her new movie that I watched today.

When I was updating the new layout of all my blogs to create my own brand and identity in the bloggers' world, I felt that I have finally reached the point that I've become very comfortable not only in writing my thoughts, but in the character of the "Fabulous Pinay Diva" that I have created here in my blogs. I thought I was ready to forget the small town promdi that I used to be. But no. She's still lives in me and I sadly felt that I hardly know her now...

The first time I heard Miley Cyrus' song, "The Climb," I already know that this is my kind of song. Rightly so. Here's the video of the song that moved me...



Long time ago, I have climbed on different mountains, and I still do... but just thinking of how far and how fast I have climbed now, I can see that the view is just beautiful... but it's not about the view that mattered inside my heart.

It's the climb.

Santa, Pleeeeease..... (A Toni Braxton Christmas Special)

In the entire course of my lifetime... Correction, I mean... in the month of November... I have been addicted to listening and downloading Christmas music to set me in the mood for Christmas as my overly-decorated house isn't doing it much for me. I have practically heard every kind of Christmas music, in every version imaginable of every traditional songs that I've known since I was a kid, from "The First Noel" to "Last Christmas," from the classic version of The Carpenters and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, to the titillating melody of Mariah Carey, to my childhood favorite and obnoxious trio, Alvin and The Chipmunks.

Three weeks ago, I grabbed this last standing Christmas Album of Toni Braxton called Snowflakes (2001) from a clearance rack at Rite Aid. I listened to the first couple of songs and to my disgust and disappointment, I thought I couldn't stand it and that I should just give it away.

My direct TV receiver in my living room broke down last Tuesday, and I needed to listen to something that night while cooking "kaldereta" (yummy spicy beef stew). So, I thought I need to give myself and Toni Braxton another chance.

Ladies and gentlemen, for your curious imagination, allow me to play for you Toni Braxton's "Santa, Please." Turn down your lights to "soft mood" as this is your ultimate "turn on" music. This is not your average Christmas song as the message of this song is "Santa, please, take my honey home now 'coz it's time to make love by the Christmas tree..."



Don't get me wrong. I love Toni Braxton. But her very unconventional voice and orgasmic breathing in this song just made me want to throw away my apron and flannel pajamas, and put on my tiny silk night gown and dance some sexy rhumba. I finally tolerated her, and I decided to keep this CD.

PS: Santa just told me that he has a "response" song to Toni, and it's about him telling her that he can take her honey home in one condition.... after Santa makes out with her by the fireplace. (Talk about whipping a naughty Santa!)

Me, Twilighted...

First of all, I can’t believe that it’s already December 1st! I didn't realize that until I was changing my voicemail greeting at work today. Where did my whole year go? Well, we’re not going to talk about that.

Let’s talk about what every girl is crazy about here in America…. A girl’s new fantasy… that pale-faced... waxed-eyebrow... cherry-lips... sun-glistening cold-skin... speed-flying... eye-changing colors… that gorgeous teen vampire Edward Cullen. I could go on and on about him, and I will not run out of adjectives.

Here's my reality. I never liked fantasy movies (or books), more so a series of it... like Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter. I can’t relate and I don’t really care, period. Speaking of Harry Potter, I saw another trailer of its upcoming 10th sequel… When is it ever going to end? I guess they won’t stop making Harry Potter movies until Harry is 99 years old (or worse, dead!), or until every child in the world is converted to witchcraft. God forbid.

So, I wanted to watch “Australia” last weekend, but my husband paid me a whole ensemble of holiday party outfits and accessories from a mannequin display at Express and a couple of new Miracle Bras from Victoria Secret, which is truely “miraculous" by the way… (what a way to bribe me!) just so I would watch this Twilight movie with him. No regrets.

Surprisingly... I got hooked! And I was “Twilighted.” In short, I kind of fell in love in the movie…Yikes! The story obviously has thrown a spell on me big time. I am now itching to read the book. Funny thing was, I kept thinking about Bella Swan’s mouth… I am convinced that Edward fell in love with her two front teeth! I mean, the poor girl seriously needs some bronzer or blush and she can’t keep her mouth shut, I mean, closed. Okay, fine. I’ll stop mocking this movie now. I guess they are supposed to look cold, and not supposed to smile a lot… weird. Just watch the movie or even better, read the book!

I just got so mesmerized with the author of this best-selling book. The author, Stephanie Meyer, earned her English degree here in Utah (BYU), and I watched her at Ellen DeGeneres show on Thanksgiving. She kind of inspired me as she only started documenting her dreams and it got so long and became a fantasy novel... and now a series of 4 books... and now became a block-buster movie all over the world with sequels to follow.

Which gave me a fabulous thought…. what if I can write something similar in a Philippine setting? Like a convoluted love affair between a "manananggal" (a self-segmenting flying viscera sucker in the Philippines) and a preacher… Hmmn, I’ll try to find my inspiration by snacking a snickers bar and watching a Shrek Christmas movie! Let's see what kind of nightmares I can recollect and turn into a best-selling novel.

Black Friday in America

I’m really not in the mood to write today as my tummy ache turned into headache from over-eating on Thanksgiving Day! I just can’t let this day pass by without mocking this Black Friday holiday after thanksgiving.

Today, the day after Thanksgiving, is the year’s biggest SALE EVENT in America during our tough economic times. People from all walks of life had instantly turned into mad cheap-a$$ out-of-control shopaholics, dangerously attacking the malls at 3AM on Friday morning… just to get a dollar off of a toe nail clipper!

I have never been a big fan of this midnight sale madness, ever. I’d rather stay home and chill like a bloated turkey after Thanksgiving. Eew, Bloated Turkey? That’s disgusting!

My Own Vision (To All the Kids Born on 1950's to 1980's)

I posted the blog below “To All the Kids who were born in the 1950’s to 1980’s” so I could react to it. I thought this spam email that I got was worthy of my time reading and sharing with you all.

Here’s by own flashback… I was born in 1975 in the Philippines.

Knowing the sex of a baby while still in the mother’s womb was impossible at that time. My dad was hoping for a boy, but the nurse brought me to him in a pink blanket! Delightfully, my parents wished I never grow up…. But I did!

While growing up, the kids in my neighborhood were all my friends and playmates.

I could compete in the Chinese garter and Jackstone Olympics! I was that good!

We would go caroling in our neighbors every Christmas time!

Eating Pringles with Pepsi in the cellophane was the best treat!

I rode a wooden sled (we called it “kangga”) drawn by a carabao (Philippine Buffalo) in my grandfather’s farm with my cousins! That would always be the highlight of our summer vacation!

I also rode at the back of a goat with my grandfather holding me. (That made me teary-eyed for a second… I remember I had this photo…. somewhere.)

I’ve seen carabaos, horses and cows peeing and pooping, and pro-creating! These shameless beasts! Gross.

I bathe in the rain with my friends, out in the streets! And “drank” the rain water from the “alulod” or the gutter.

I bathe in the river, and “drank” the water from the river, too. During that time, people (and stray animals) do “everything” in the river! I mean, everything!

I ate cheese with rice. I still do.

I ate margarine with white sugar on my bread, and on my pancake. I still do. I ate Indian Mangoes with white sugar. I will still do.

I had my mom and dad, my grandparents, and nannies around me while growing up. We ate together and chatted over meals.

Our nannies did all the household chores for our family. I’d get in trouble if my grandfather saw me sweeping, washing dishes, doing laundry or cooking.

I remember I had to win the declamation contests 3 times before my dad would buy me my first karaoke machine. I sang my parents favorite standard music like Moon River, My Funny Valentine, My Way, All the Way, etc. rather than sing Madonna’s Borderline and Like A Virgin. Our most high-priced and high-tech “thing” was our Yamaha Organ that we all can play.

In high school when I was a varsity in volleyball, I would wrap a masking tape around my chest. Sports bra does NOT exist at the time. Training bras were useless! I remember I used minimizer bras until I was 27.

In high school, we asked our friends to write in our “slumbooks!” It’s like your bio-data on a perfumed stationery type notebook with personal questions like, What’s your ambition? I wrote “to be somebody someday” like everybody else. Duh, can I be more specific? What is Love? I wrote “Love is something beautiful between you and me, or me and “him.” Yuk. How corny! What is crush? I wrote “Crush is when someone’s looking at you with sparkles in their eyes and you are kilig (giggle!)….” Ha-ha-ha! That’s so cheesy! Are you engaged? I wrote YES. I remember getting in trouble with this. My poor grandmother… she freaked out when she read that I put YES on the “Are you engaged?” part. Gee, I was like 10 or 11 years old then and I don’t even know what that meant! Later, I learned.

Here’s my reality now that I’m grown up…. 2008, Domestic Diva in America.

No more nannies. I learned to do everything. I do the laundry. I cook. I clean. I drive.

My kids are 2 shih tzu puppies, boy and girl. We bought them from a breeder 100 miles away from us. If people asked me if I have kids, I said YES with big bright smile on my face! And I’ll pull out my cell phone and show them their pictures! My puppies are now full grown at 11 pounds each and will never grow bigger!

Kids in our neighborhood don’t do caroling. They only do “Trick or treating” on Halloween in their “Witch” and “zombie” costumes.

Families rarely talk because they have their TV on over dinner. Young girls learn everything from Paris Hilton on MTV and the internet and not from their parents. Their parents (single or divorced) can’t spend quality time with them. To make up for the lost time, they buy them laptops, cellphones, ipods, and all the gadgets you could ever think of. They have 400 to 1000 virtual friends from all over the world that they don’t even know. When you ask them what’s their ambition? They have no clue what that meant.

People here in America ate and drunk the “cleanest” water and food in the world. But yet, they have cancer and all these weird illnesses. In the Philippines, we have “flies and bugs” all over our house and over our greasy and fatty foods and we are fine. I drank rain water from the gutter, remember? Luckily, I’m still alive.

The bra-issue is over. I didn’t need Dr. Vicky Belo to do the magic. I found everything that lifts and fits at Victoria’s Secret. I can jump, spike and run without worrying.

I don’t see all my friends everyday. I chat with them on Yahoo messenger on my phone or on my laptop, or see them occasionally in parties. They are all in my Friendster account, or Facebook, and we would exchange messages once in a while. The last time I counted, I have 250+ in Friendster, and 150+ on Facebook, and it’s growing everyday. Do I really know all of them? Hell, no.

To go back to the slumbook questions: What’s my ambition? I still want to travel and see Europe. What is Love? Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. What is Crush? Crush is what you do to the lemon if you want to make your own lemonade.

Piece of my Mind

I can keep writing on and on, but believe it or not, I am not the most opinionated person that you will ever know. There may be a ton of issues around me that I may not even be aware of until you tell me or until I watch it on TV or browsed through the internet. When people are talking passionately about issues on religion, finance, politics and even homosexual rights, I keep my mouth shut. Even if I can hear people stubbing each other's back, it goes to one hear out the other. But since I know that the freedom of speech still lives in this country, I’ll use my writing to voice a piece of my mind on several topics that I care and don’t care about… I’ll be very frank here but please don’t take my “opinions” personally.

Polygamy
This is a popular topic about Utah, and I’m tired of it. LDS at present time don’t practice this anymore. However, Fundamentalist LDS still does and they live in their own private community in southern Utah. This is part of their religious belief. Leave them alone as they will never try to convert you. I believe this polygamy is still being practiced all over the world. So quit bugging Utahns about it. YOu want my opinion? It will not work for me. Imagine that I’m already a lot of work for my husband. If he has to manage 4 more of me, he would end up in a mental ward.

Family
I remember in kindergarten, my teacher taught us that FAMILY means “Father and Mother, I love you.” Obviously and sadly, the “FAMILY” in our generation is under attack. If your parents are still happily married together at this point, then you are rare as a diamond.

Marriage and Divorce
Marriage is an act of love between God, man and a woman. That’s what my Pastor implanted in our minds on our wedding day, and that’s what I will believe in for the rest of my life. However, for some, marriage is just a piece of paper, and nothing more. Sad but true, most people have done everything they could to mess up this simple sacred sacrament. At present, every other marriage is expected to end up in divorce. Remember, marriage is not an escape, so is divorce.

Gays, Lesbians and Same-Sex Marriage
Can I tell you how thankful I am that I am married now? If I remained single at 33, I will be so worried to death in dating and scaring a straight guy. Gays and lesbians are like sand in the beach. They’re all over the place. I have best friends that are gays and lesbians, and they are good people. I love all my friends for who and what they are, and I accept them for who they love and sleep with or marry, even if they marry a goat or a horse!!! Their lifestyle is their own personal choice and moral issue. I chose NOT to deal with it.

Wild Teenagers
They are products of irresponsible parents. Period. I can’t say much because I don’t have one, I don’t want one, hopefully I will never have one, and thankfully I was not one.

Christmas Gift Giving
If my friends and family happens to read this part, I do not plan to give anymore material gifts this Christmas. And I DO NOT WISH to receive anymore gifts! So please… I don’t need any more purses, shoes, jewelry, accessories, candles, kitchen stuffs, house décor, etc. And I’m sure you don’t need anymore stuffs! If you have extra money to spare, please give it to those who really need it or donate it to your favorite charity. What I will be willing to give to and receive from my friends and family is TIME. Nothing more but quality TIME… Like let’s sit down and have coffee and chat and laugh out our tears and pains away. Let’s inspire each other and pray together for peace and healing. I think that will be the most precious gift I could ever give and receive this Christmas and throughout the year.

Filipinos in America
Most people that I meet at work thought I was born and raised here in America because of the way I talk. I have acquired a bit of that Amercan accent. But when they get to know me a little better, they will know that I totally had a different lifestyle in the Philippines seven years ago and that English is only my second language. It is very interesting to be exposed to both American and Filipino culture here in America. The more that I want to be Americanized, the more I feel proud that I’m Filipino, and different. Filipinos here in America, they are still the funniest people on earth, no matter if they have everything in life or have nothing…

Life
Life is short. Spend it with laughter around good friends and loved ones. Take a job that you love. You may have all the nice and shiny things on earth but you can never take them when you die. Nourish your soul and know your Lord and Savior, because at the end of your life, He will only look for one thing and it’s not how much or how little good you did on earth…. It’s who reigns in your heart!

God Bless America, Land That I Love

Tonight was an eventful and passionate night for America as the whole world watched us made history. WE as a nation have just elected our first black President.

I was anxious to come home from work to be glued on the election news coverage. After I prepared my toasted corned-beef sandwich for dinner, I have just turned my kitchen into somewhat like my own newsroom. My TV was on ABC News. On my laptop, I was in Yahoo, Google and CNN websites. Then on my blackberry, I was chatting with my friend in NY as I watch the live news coverage at Time Square as it becomes quite the party place. And at the same time, I was talking to my sister in Houston on the phone. I was wired and hooked on this election results and not paying attention at all to Utah's first winter snow storm that's dumping outside.

It was around 9:00PM Utah time when ABC News officially declared Obama as the President-elect. I could not contain my emotions as I see Obama's face on all my websites home page, and people screaming, crying, hugging and kissing on TV. It was a very emotional experience for me, even if I was just at home. I was happy deep inside me that Obama won this presidential election. I suddenly felt confident and proud to be living here in America as a second class citizen, and witnessing this promised change unfolding right before my eyes. Millions of Americans have gathered in major cities and turned their streets and city parks into a unity party celebrating this momentous day. I was very humbled and got teary-eyed after McCain's and Obama's speeches. I have never been more proud of America as this minute than the last 7 years that I lived here.

Yesterday and today, I keep singing "God Bless America". For the sake of my vanity and patriotism to America that I now call home, I have recorded my self singing it in acapella. I'm not an American but I'm a true American at heart and have always tagged myself as an "All-American-Girl." So to celebrate our nation's democracy and freedom, I wanted to share with you all the song that keeps playing in my head these days. May God bless this beautiful country and land of opportunity and all of us whose American dream still lives in our hearts.

Defending Ms. Witty

Defending Ms. Witty
August 15th, 2008

I have to admit. I don’t know where I got my witty piece of mind from. I have made some people upset or worried, or made some laugh out loud when my mouth is loaded with witty one liners. But I can’t help it, it just comes out naturally. Friends, I should not be taken seriously because I am just being my playful self.

Last night I made a friend worried when I said “You’re in trouble and I can’t talk right now but later after I have a bottle of wine…” in a serious tone of voice. I learned my lesson and I’m glad someone gave me a dose of my own medicine.

Work Scenario:A couple of weeks ago, when I first tried the new Cheetos Cheddar Jalapeno (You have to try it!!) and offered it to my officemates, I said to them “Try it, it’s better than sex!” They immediately lightened up and took a handful in their mouth, seriously. All it means to me is it’s worth all the calories.

When I lost a big client for a super low rate in Park City, I said “they’re a bunch of whores!” My boss heard me and asked me if I was sick that day. I wasn’t. I was just trying to make myself feel better as a loser.

When I asked my boss in our meeting that I need to be competitive in my market, I said “It’s about time to prostitute myself to get some serious business.” All eyes were on me. My boss told me to be the best prostitute I can be. I asked her if she was sick. And she was.
I lost a couple of big groups last week. I told my admin, “I’m gonna go home now and cry all night, but I’ll try to pass by the bar and have a couple BJ shots.” Friends, I really don’t drink. But I’ll have a glass of White Zinfandel.

Public and Private Scenario:When I need to go potty in a restaurant, I asked the waiter, “Where’s your MALE restroom?” The poor, confused waiter couldn’t speak… I couldn’t say much either.

Some people ask me what kind of work out do I do is to keep my “hot” figure, I said “pole and cage dancing in my French maid outfit, fish net stockings and hooker shoes.” Well, I only have the hooker shoes, but I don’t do and don’t have the rest… But I like grooving with my Hip Hop Abs video.

About a month ago, my husband told me that someone had asked him if my brother was my husband and if he was my son… I said, “Honey, this woman is a psychopath and has escaped from the mental ward.” I don’t really mean that. Or maybe I do. She’s definitely insane.
When my hubby “burps downward”, I don’t shy away but I ask him, “Honey, are you trying to seduce me? ‘Coz I’m so turned on right now…” Come on, I don’t think so.

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining
July 17th, 2008

I have to stop what I’m doing today as it is imperative that I write my blog again. After having to go through weeks of emotional roller coaster (and some signs of early menopause, I’m serious about my hot flushes, or is it just heat stress?), I realized that I needed to reconnect with my self again to make sure I’m still sane after all the stress and pressure of my very demanding career and diva lifestyle. Thanks for Friendster blogs that I think this is my best way to pour out my bucket and update you all with what’s going on with my hair, err, with my life.

First of all, I cut my hair shorter again 2 weeks ago! My husband calls me “POGI” because he thinks I was…. I thought, finally, he noticed me that I was handsome after all!

I’ve been stressed lately because of this high gas and food prices. Well, who isn’t? It’s hard to believe that this tough economic time will soon predict my future lifestyle, which is riding my bike to work, dieting for life and shopping at the dollar store.

I’ve been frustrated somehow at work and thought that I wanted to leave and change careers and just become a fortune teller (I’ve been talking to Lily about it for a while, but she disagreed). I researched that they can potentially be famous and make tons of money just by diplomatically scaring people that doomsday is on December 12, 2012, or that they can find their next soul mate in the internet.

I’ve been constantly pressured by my family to have a baby as they waited a long time now to be grandparents. This is not new at all… Sometimes, I’d like to tease them that when I see screaming babies, little brats and ungrateful teenagers, my tubes are tying themselves up. Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to have kids of my own, but babies are God’s gift of life and a blessing. It’s not like a material thing that I can loan from Home Depot, or bargain at a yard sale. (But this is Utah, so sometimes, you’ll never know…)

Then I’ve been so excited to see again my “old friend Wally” (as in Wall-E?) who’s literally getting old and celebrating her Golden 50 next week, woo-hoo!!! But guess what… I haven’t forgiven myself for forgetting to greet my best friend, Ramil, a Happy Birthday last week (July 10).

There were times these past two weeks that tears will just roll down my eyes while driving or washing dishes because I’ve been saddened to know that my friend, Marilyn, who is still fighting for her life over breast cancer, was rushed many times to the hospital and spent days in the ICU this past week. I don’t know how else to cope with her situation but just to offer my prayers so she can live longer.

Early this week, I chatted to a very close friend who moved to Oregon, and to my little sister in Houston. I just missed them so much that I thought I have moved on since they left… but I guess it really takes a while before you get used to being so far away from people you have so much fun with and love dearly.

I’ve been motivating myself lately to kick my self forward so I could move on to the next chapter of my life before this summer just passes me by.

So to start off… I’ve been watching this new telenovela of Claudine Barretto and Gabby Concepcion this week. I would put on my gym outfit and shake by bum-bum dancing along to the HipHop Abs video as my curvaceous body has been yoyo-ing lately (thanks to my best comfort friends, Cheetos and Ruffles!). I’ve been doing pretty busy at work. I went back to church last Sunday after a long time. I spent quality time with my mom and close friends last Sunday. My brother-in-law’s family from Saipan is visiting us this week and our house have been full of action. My dogs are now grown and have realized that there’s a bigger world out there. Shilo and Lily like getting dirty wet around our neighbor’s sprinkler!! It’s priceless to see how my husband chases them around our neighbor’s yard. It’s been fun and great!!

I thought I was doing really well after all until I saw something shiny in my head this morning… I looked closely, and even closer…and it’s not my flakes… You have got to be kidding me!! You guessed it right!! It’s my first silver gray hair!!! Waaaahhhh!!

Vain (and Vanity)... What it takes to be (ME?)

Vain (and Vanity)… What it takes to be (ME?)
June 6th, 2008

I can’t believe how much I have stressed on my bad hair days in Houston , especially in my sister’s wedding. You all must have been convinced now that I am one high-maintenance freaky vain princess after all… Okay, I admit! Whatever…. I am undeniably VAIN, period.
Vanity works for me, in general, and in many positive ways throughout my career, my marriage, and my social life:

I like to wear my green contact lenses, and lots of eyeliner and mascara.
I like super high heel shoes.
I like to dress up more eclectic than others.
I like to be taller.
I’m extremely flammable after I spray my entire head so my hair will be in the right place at all times.
I can’t leave my house without makeup on.
I like posing for photos and looking good at it consistently.
Lately, I want to wear a lot of short shorts and bare my fake-tanned legs!!
I like to wear “bling-bling” accessories (from rings to earrings, from belts to purses) that screams “I’m Czarina, the FABULICIOUS PRINCESS!!”

I feel good when I know I look good. When people admire me, I say “thank you” sincerely.
So I am vain. BUT WHO ISN’T VAIN? I know I am not alone in this category. Just look at all your Friendster profiles and you’ll know who you are…

In today’s world of endless possibilities to be flawless and beautiful, it is NOT hard to be vain after all. Most women, even men, especially Filipinos, have issues with their hair, or color, or weight, or boob size, and most especially, their nose shape! So there’s hair re-bonding or extension, tanning or whitening, all kinds of fad diets/exercise, boob job and nose job, Botox, etc. At our generation, all these sex changes, and aesthetic surgical procedures are now acceptable as normal. When people are reacting to these topics, I tell them that it is just like going to a salon and getting a new haircut or having your nails done, like it’s no big deal at all. Sometimes when I like to tease people, I tell them that my bum and boobs are “new” and that my name before was “Cesar”…

Once in a while, my husband and I will joke at each other whenever we see people who just didn’t care about their looks or general appearance… For example, when I see pathetic women in their sweat pants, with no make up on, no bra (Oh Lord, forgive them!) and hair clipped up looking like “Maxima Lavandera”…. I tell my husband that if one unfortunate day comes and I turned to become looking like that, he has my blessing to divorce me…

The Tale of the Maid of Honor and Her Wig Made of Horror

The Tale of the Maid of Honor and Her Wig Made of Horror
June 1st, 2008

Sporting with my new sexy, sassy, inverted bob cut, and my fake tan, I couldn’t wait to see my entire family in Houston, Texas where my baby sister, Diana, is finally getting married on May 23rd at a Garden Ceremony and reception. The two main highlights of this wedding are: #1, I will be her Maid of Honor and emcee for her reception program, and #2, after so many years, I will meet again my dad and brother from the Philippines, and my relatives from all over the world. I know one thing is for sure… They all will check on me if I’m still the same HOTTIE as I was before….

HOTTIE? Sure I was! The minute I stepped out of the Houston airport on May 21st… my hottie-ness became obvious through my perspiring armpit… My sophisticated bob curled up and frizzed, and my make up started to melt…. When I popped out my mirror to do a face check, I saw a scary looking person… I DO NOT KNOW HER! The only thing I remember seeing was her horrible WIG! As I try to calm myself down in this humid and rising 95 degrees weather, my self confidence has dropped down to zero...

I was counting my days since day one, as I thought that as soon as this wedding is over, I am ready to go home to my country! Thanks to my super best cousin, Ningning (Mary Linay), she has helped me a lot to focus on the most important role of my life – The Maid of Honor!! It was not easy to focus on being the Maid of Honor when your fabulous hair has just become the WIG made of horror...

The wedding day has come…. After finishing a bottle of hairspray to make my wig “behave” and after rubbing a whole stick of anti-perspirant, I did a fabulous job on my sister’s and mom’s make up. They both look naturally beautiful and radiant. I was so proud of them. My mom did my sister’s hair and her wedding gown. The bottom line is, my sister indeed is the most beautiful bride I have ever seen.

The wedding went very well, but not as perfect as we have planned though. The strong wind was blowing like a mild hurricane, and it has delayed the start time of the garden ceremony. The music had issues and the wind blew out my sister’s long veil and crown as she was walking down the aisle. But nonetheless, the ceremony was perfect, and emotional. I didn’t have time to be emotional during this ceremony. I was busy taking pictures and making sure that no one will faint at this hot and humid weather. At this point, I really don’t care how horrible I look. The most important for me at this moment was my sister. She is the star of this day.

..My only drama after the ceremony was, I tried to stay away from the paparazzi. I have stressed my whole family as I keep hiding from the camera. One family group photo is all I can give. Obviously, my ugly wig has succeeded to rule my world that day. Every time someone will request a photo with me, I will run away! My inner voice was crying, “Go away! Leave me and ugly wig alone!!”..

After seeing our photos, I thought I looked OK and not as bad as I thought. My only conclusion is that I can never survive living in Houston. Because the truth is, my hair doesn’t fit in there.