Salmonella Who?

"Salmonella who?"

That was my first response to my husband when he told me about Salmonella last night.

First, I thought Salmonella was some new R&B or country singer. Then I thought, it was an Italian Pasta and Seafood dish. Or so I thought I was blonde....

"Bad news for you, honey, but there's a nationwide Salmonella Peanut Butter Recall! It's all over the news!" he said.

"No way!!! You're joking, right?" I cried out of disbelief.

This is what happens when I don't watch the news anymore! Before I face this upcoming torture, I researched this today and yes, there is a bloody peanut butter recall all over America right now. I'm not going to explain this much in details because there is such a thing now as the Internet and you can research about it yourself.

But, please! This is causing me such a big deal of pain in my booty! Giving up my peanut butter is like giving up my stilettos and high heels! This is just impossible.

So today, I went through my snack drawer at work, and my pantry at home and believe it or not, these are my favorite things that I have a lifetime supply of... everything with Peanut Butter flavor, also known to me as "better than chocolate!"

But wait! Here's the part that made me feel like it's the saddest moment of my life... that is giving up my Peanut Butter Passion Ice Cream... (God, why? What have I done to deserve this?)

So, as my hubby cuddles me for emotional support, he said, "Honey, I still love you even if you have Salmonella." I asked him, "How will I know if I have symptoms of Salmonella?"

He smiled and said, "Your eyelids will turn green!"

Pretty Punishment

As women here in America are obsessed with silicone implants, hair extensions, and botox, I am obsessed in having fake nails! This is the only treat that I give to myself!

Displaying my Power Ring here earlier on my maintenance-hungry hands is just destroying my composure. I believe that if I don't take care of my hands or nails, I am not taking care of my self.

So, it's about time to turn in myself this week for a FULL SET at our local nail salon. To educate you all, this is no ordinary manicure. For me, this is both an emotional and psychological makeover. I do this purposely to "punish" myself. Yup, you heard it right... to punish myself.

OK, I have this stinky habit of scratching my face... whenever and wherever I have zits! Disgusting, I know... My real nails are too weak and too sharp so I have to put on
"cement" or acrylics to thicken, lengthen, and strengthen my nails. With acrylics, my nails won't scratch my face anymore!

So now, I have scraped off my old acrylics and it's time for my regular nail visit. My nail technician is a Vietnamese male. He has been doing this for 16 years. I have been doing this for my self for 3 years. My face has been flawless ever since...

Here's the process of this pretty punishment!

He files my nails using a nail electric "drill" or filer! Pretty scary stuff. Nail dusts are all over the place, on my black suit, and on my technician's face!






He then glues the tips, so I can have longer nails. He cuts it to my desired nail length. And, he is now wondering why I keep photoshooting my hand. I told him I do scrap-book!







OK, this is the torture part! The purple liquid's chemical smell is very strong. He dips the brush in this liquid and then dips it to the acryliuc powder to paste on my nail. I asked my nail technician if he suspects if this chemical fume causes infertility. He said, "Are you kidding me? I already have 3 kids!" OK, fine!



Now, my acrylic nails look more natural. He has to drill it again to smoothen the surface. He files and buffs all around it. That means more dusts that I have to endure.

One hour later, here's the finished product. The price of this vanity and punishment is $30.

The Countdown to Gaining Back My Lost Inspiration and My Lost Waistline

I know that title was a mouthful.

I haven’t been writing a worthy blog for a long time now. Something seriously terrible happened…. I lost my inspiration, and worse, I LOST MY WAISTLINE! So sad… For the past month now, I’ve been wearing my ”big girl’s clothes” which I also call my “fat suits.” If I don’t do anything soon, my hips will deserve to have its own ZIP Code.

Let me skip the name-blaming game even if it’s always easier to point your miseries to others. Instead, I’d like to analyze my out-of-control behavior. OK, I admit, I’ve been stressed… and who isn’t? Isn’t that like a normal everyday battle of all people? So, this stress has caused me to make stress-eating a hobby. Now, it’s time to face the bloody truth. For the “nth” time now, I want to ‘discipline’ myself again… I want to feel good about myself again, inside and out, and hoping one day my lost inspiration will find me, and my lost waistline will find itself again beneath my growing love handles.

I am always a believer in writing down my goals and plans. It works for me, and it should work for all of you. So, I’ll be writing down now my goals to help me focus on my challenge. In fact, I'm keeping a private blog which is my own personal wellness diary here in blogspot. The countdown begins today, Monday, October 27, 2008. I was tipping at 140 lbs this morning according to my scale. I just want to be fit and fabulous at 130 lbs. Realistically, that’s my ideal weight if I want to get back to my "hotness" and maintain my curvy bombshell figure.

Junked and Spammed

Junked and Spammed
August 25th, 2008

This is Czarina’s clone again. I can’t disregard this freaky behavior anymore. Czarina was last seen injecting giant mugs of caffeine in her bloodstream for days now, sniffing cheeseburgers and French fries, and eating lots of junk lately like a wild pig…. She’s been working late last week, and not working out at all. After heavy partying last weekend and swearing over a slob of cassava cake while her eyes rolled to ecstasy…. she went home with an over-bulged two-pack tummy, looked at her mirror and broke down. I had no pity for her. She seriously needs someone to whip her bottom and someone to talk herself out on “being-out-of-control-diva” these past days. HELP!!! Someone please lock her down in her basement, handcuff her with Barbie’s pink furry handcuffs and put a strawberry-flavored glittery masking tape over her junk-food-craving mouth! And if she ever begs for food again, let her cry until her water-proof mascara runs off her face with her green contact lenses…. Feed her only okra, ampalaya, and talong and other vegetables that she calls “crap!”

One thing that she has been dealing with this week was missing last month her friend’s email regarding an alarming health condition of another close friend. How could she ignore that with the thousands of spam emails her personal email gets everyday… Her yahoo inbox folder says she has 217 emails, and her spam folder has 2878 over a week period! Lately, she was weary and endlessly receiving sexually seductive email offers like male enhancement, Viagra, breast enlargement, adult toys, even transgender or sex change discounts and buy-1-get-1 free exotic Latino lap dance deals (which she won’t mind right now)…

This weekend, she received another weird invitation in her mailbox for someone’s wedding. I’d have to confirm that she didn’t write this one… Sad but true, but here’s what it says…..

You are regretfully invited
To the wedding between my perfect son,
The DoctorAnd someCheap Two-Bit Tramp
Whose name escapes me right now.
The biggest disaster in myFamily’s history will take place at
9PM on Saturday, September 8th
And no doubt end in divorce.
Hopefully in time to still be eligible for an annulment.
The overwhelmingly disappointing heartbreak of a ceremony
Will be followed by dinner, where nuts will be served
Because whatsherface has an allergy.

Here’s the picture as evidence.

Here’s Czarina’s Stolen Shot (taken by my official photographer and friend, Nikon Omero) from last night’s party after swallowing a slob of cassava cake while she’s still high… (looks like Angelica Panganiban, the bitchy contrabida in Iisa Pa Lamang!!)

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining
July 17th, 2008

I have to stop what I’m doing today as it is imperative that I write my blog again. After having to go through weeks of emotional roller coaster (and some signs of early menopause, I’m serious about my hot flushes, or is it just heat stress?), I realized that I needed to reconnect with my self again to make sure I’m still sane after all the stress and pressure of my very demanding career and diva lifestyle. Thanks for Friendster blogs that I think this is my best way to pour out my bucket and update you all with what’s going on with my hair, err, with my life.

First of all, I cut my hair shorter again 2 weeks ago! My husband calls me “POGI” because he thinks I was…. I thought, finally, he noticed me that I was handsome after all!

I’ve been stressed lately because of this high gas and food prices. Well, who isn’t? It’s hard to believe that this tough economic time will soon predict my future lifestyle, which is riding my bike to work, dieting for life and shopping at the dollar store.

I’ve been frustrated somehow at work and thought that I wanted to leave and change careers and just become a fortune teller (I’ve been talking to Lily about it for a while, but she disagreed). I researched that they can potentially be famous and make tons of money just by diplomatically scaring people that doomsday is on December 12, 2012, or that they can find their next soul mate in the internet.

I’ve been constantly pressured by my family to have a baby as they waited a long time now to be grandparents. This is not new at all… Sometimes, I’d like to tease them that when I see screaming babies, little brats and ungrateful teenagers, my tubes are tying themselves up. Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to have kids of my own, but babies are God’s gift of life and a blessing. It’s not like a material thing that I can loan from Home Depot, or bargain at a yard sale. (But this is Utah, so sometimes, you’ll never know…)

Then I’ve been so excited to see again my “old friend Wally” (as in Wall-E?) who’s literally getting old and celebrating her Golden 50 next week, woo-hoo!!! But guess what… I haven’t forgiven myself for forgetting to greet my best friend, Ramil, a Happy Birthday last week (July 10).

There were times these past two weeks that tears will just roll down my eyes while driving or washing dishes because I’ve been saddened to know that my friend, Marilyn, who is still fighting for her life over breast cancer, was rushed many times to the hospital and spent days in the ICU this past week. I don’t know how else to cope with her situation but just to offer my prayers so she can live longer.

Early this week, I chatted to a very close friend who moved to Oregon, and to my little sister in Houston. I just missed them so much that I thought I have moved on since they left… but I guess it really takes a while before you get used to being so far away from people you have so much fun with and love dearly.

I’ve been motivating myself lately to kick my self forward so I could move on to the next chapter of my life before this summer just passes me by.

So to start off… I’ve been watching this new telenovela of Claudine Barretto and Gabby Concepcion this week. I would put on my gym outfit and shake by bum-bum dancing along to the HipHop Abs video as my curvaceous body has been yoyo-ing lately (thanks to my best comfort friends, Cheetos and Ruffles!). I’ve been doing pretty busy at work. I went back to church last Sunday after a long time. I spent quality time with my mom and close friends last Sunday. My brother-in-law’s family from Saipan is visiting us this week and our house have been full of action. My dogs are now grown and have realized that there’s a bigger world out there. Shilo and Lily like getting dirty wet around our neighbor’s sprinkler!! It’s priceless to see how my husband chases them around our neighbor’s yard. It’s been fun and great!!

I thought I was doing really well after all until I saw something shiny in my head this morning… I looked closely, and even closer…and it’s not my flakes… You have got to be kidding me!! You guessed it right!! It’s my first silver gray hair!!! Waaaahhhh!!

Vain (and Vanity)... What it takes to be (ME?)

Vain (and Vanity)… What it takes to be (ME?)
June 6th, 2008

I can’t believe how much I have stressed on my bad hair days in Houston , especially in my sister’s wedding. You all must have been convinced now that I am one high-maintenance freaky vain princess after all… Okay, I admit! Whatever…. I am undeniably VAIN, period.
Vanity works for me, in general, and in many positive ways throughout my career, my marriage, and my social life:

I like to wear my green contact lenses, and lots of eyeliner and mascara.
I like super high heel shoes.
I like to dress up more eclectic than others.
I like to be taller.
I’m extremely flammable after I spray my entire head so my hair will be in the right place at all times.
I can’t leave my house without makeup on.
I like posing for photos and looking good at it consistently.
Lately, I want to wear a lot of short shorts and bare my fake-tanned legs!!
I like to wear “bling-bling” accessories (from rings to earrings, from belts to purses) that screams “I’m Czarina, the FABULICIOUS PRINCESS!!”

I feel good when I know I look good. When people admire me, I say “thank you” sincerely.
So I am vain. BUT WHO ISN’T VAIN? I know I am not alone in this category. Just look at all your Friendster profiles and you’ll know who you are…

In today’s world of endless possibilities to be flawless and beautiful, it is NOT hard to be vain after all. Most women, even men, especially Filipinos, have issues with their hair, or color, or weight, or boob size, and most especially, their nose shape! So there’s hair re-bonding or extension, tanning or whitening, all kinds of fad diets/exercise, boob job and nose job, Botox, etc. At our generation, all these sex changes, and aesthetic surgical procedures are now acceptable as normal. When people are reacting to these topics, I tell them that it is just like going to a salon and getting a new haircut or having your nails done, like it’s no big deal at all. Sometimes when I like to tease people, I tell them that my bum and boobs are “new” and that my name before was “Cesar”…

Once in a while, my husband and I will joke at each other whenever we see people who just didn’t care about their looks or general appearance… For example, when I see pathetic women in their sweat pants, with no make up on, no bra (Oh Lord, forgive them!) and hair clipped up looking like “Maxima Lavandera”…. I tell my husband that if one unfortunate day comes and I turned to become looking like that, he has my blessing to divorce me…

The Tale of the Maid of Honor and Her Wig Made of Horror

The Tale of the Maid of Honor and Her Wig Made of Horror
June 1st, 2008

Sporting with my new sexy, sassy, inverted bob cut, and my fake tan, I couldn’t wait to see my entire family in Houston, Texas where my baby sister, Diana, is finally getting married on May 23rd at a Garden Ceremony and reception. The two main highlights of this wedding are: #1, I will be her Maid of Honor and emcee for her reception program, and #2, after so many years, I will meet again my dad and brother from the Philippines, and my relatives from all over the world. I know one thing is for sure… They all will check on me if I’m still the same HOTTIE as I was before….

HOTTIE? Sure I was! The minute I stepped out of the Houston airport on May 21st… my hottie-ness became obvious through my perspiring armpit… My sophisticated bob curled up and frizzed, and my make up started to melt…. When I popped out my mirror to do a face check, I saw a scary looking person… I DO NOT KNOW HER! The only thing I remember seeing was her horrible WIG! As I try to calm myself down in this humid and rising 95 degrees weather, my self confidence has dropped down to zero...

I was counting my days since day one, as I thought that as soon as this wedding is over, I am ready to go home to my country! Thanks to my super best cousin, Ningning (Mary Linay), she has helped me a lot to focus on the most important role of my life – The Maid of Honor!! It was not easy to focus on being the Maid of Honor when your fabulous hair has just become the WIG made of horror...

The wedding day has come…. After finishing a bottle of hairspray to make my wig “behave” and after rubbing a whole stick of anti-perspirant, I did a fabulous job on my sister’s and mom’s make up. They both look naturally beautiful and radiant. I was so proud of them. My mom did my sister’s hair and her wedding gown. The bottom line is, my sister indeed is the most beautiful bride I have ever seen.

The wedding went very well, but not as perfect as we have planned though. The strong wind was blowing like a mild hurricane, and it has delayed the start time of the garden ceremony. The music had issues and the wind blew out my sister’s long veil and crown as she was walking down the aisle. But nonetheless, the ceremony was perfect, and emotional. I didn’t have time to be emotional during this ceremony. I was busy taking pictures and making sure that no one will faint at this hot and humid weather. At this point, I really don’t care how horrible I look. The most important for me at this moment was my sister. She is the star of this day.

..My only drama after the ceremony was, I tried to stay away from the paparazzi. I have stressed my whole family as I keep hiding from the camera. One family group photo is all I can give. Obviously, my ugly wig has succeeded to rule my world that day. Every time someone will request a photo with me, I will run away! My inner voice was crying, “Go away! Leave me and ugly wig alone!!”..

After seeing our photos, I thought I looked OK and not as bad as I thought. My only conclusion is that I can never survive living in Houston. Because the truth is, my hair doesn’t fit in there.

Beauty Meltdown (or just getting old?)

Beauty Meltdown (Or just getting old??)
April 10th, 2008

Ok, enough with my princess illusions and dog drama! I miss blogging and I’m back! My work in the past month or so has taken over my entire life. My hair grew long and frizzy with split ends, my scalp and skin got so dry, and here’s the worst part… I see some wrinkles forming around my eyes and some age spots on my face! Oh No!!! I can’t believe it’s happening now before my eyes… I just wanted to breakdown in tears… Am I getting old already? Somebody help me!!…

I’m convinced that I’m starting to look horrible and I am so concerned. I seriously needed Dr. Belo to unleash the “fabulousity” in me if there’s anything left… In short, I needed some extreme makeover. It’s an emergency! So I first run for help to my hairstylist to revive my crowning glory. Spackled my face with layers of anti-wrinkle, anti-blemish, anti-sun damage, anti-age spots serums, creams and moisturizers. Then had my manicure and pedicure to recover back a little of my confidence, then I realized I’m too hairy and needed to shave my legs and arms, wax my mustache, and pluck my eyebrows! Now, I can start my self tanning ritual to get my JLo glow back! Whew! That was my cheap escape to beauty makeover. I don’t need signature clothes, bags or shoes to feel fabulous. If you want to know my beauty secret, (there’s really none) I just pay attention to details from inside out. I take good care of myself big time. My hair and my shoes are a big deal for me. If I get it right, I feel like a million bucks!…

So it’s going to be my birthday on April 19th! This Friendster is so fun because it announces it to my herd of friends in my list. Let’s see who’s got the time to send me some greetings… Hmmnn? I honestly didn’t even think about my coming birthday. I’ve been travelling during my birthday for the past 6 years and I’m staying home this time. I think I’ll be 32 or 33, I really can’t remember. My real age doesn’t really matter at all to me, but what I feel inside, and guess what? I feel like I’m 23! I feel great, I feel awesome and I feel blessed!…

I remember long time ago that I thought of becoming 40 or 45 years old. I thought that if “everything goes down,” I will do everything in my power to “put it back up!” I will definitely consider Botox, eye lift, breast lift, and liposuction, to name a few procedures. I’m hoping that I won’t really need it soon or in the next 10 years or so. At least for one good reason, I feel good about myself that I still have my original spare parts working fine for me as they are supposed to. In my line of work of meeting and networking with (beautiful) people, I feel quite unique that I’m still all natural (except for my acrylic nails and occasional colored contact lenses - that’s only few of my vanity).