Intervention of My Self Reinvention

I have a personal testimony to make. Far long ago, sometime in 2009, something must have happened to me that I never noticed until now. I was unconsciously changing myself - in the big sense of the word. I feel that my Fabulous Pinay alter-ego here is barely hanging in there with all her heart and wit.... because the Promdi girl that I once knew is no longer existent... What a sad day for me to finally say goodbye to my older promdi version and let her lay to rest in peace now, leaving us all her wonderful and fun stories of a small girl in a small town with big dreams.... I'm glad she was able to write her stories in my blog at the very start called the Promdi Series, and now her memories will forever live.

Few weeks ago, I admitted that I have changed. I don't know how long ago, but I have reinvented my whole self. I didn't know how it became possible, but I am liking now my new version. I want to call it my FIERCE version. Fierce has a lot of definition. But the one that matched my fierceness is the one that means "furiously eager and intense," "powerful," and "passionate". Or better yet, in the slang dictionary, it means "really good." Like some fierce coffee!

2009 was a tough year for me and for a lot of people here in America. I decided that if I had to do something different, it will be to change and reinvent myself to keep up with the ever changing trends in the work force industry. So I became more daring, more fearless, more courageous, more adventurous, more valuable, more visible, and more motivated. I can't even remember if I blogged about it, but I knew I had something going on in me. And this is me now.

In short, I am changing my tone and point of view from now on here in my Confessions of a Fabulous Pinay blog. The Fabulous Pinay has now grown up in her journey in this blog. She is now a woman of strength and inspiration. She will no longer insult her waistline, humiliate her weakness to Cheetos, underestimate her confidence in her dreams, or under appreciate her un-motherhood, and will no longer degrade other women who refuse to wear bras... or to promote smelling like mexican food if she needs to go to a mexican car repair place... or to encourage other straight married women to fall in love with Adam Lambert's adorable gayness. She may still be funny and witty when appropriate, but her main purpose now is to share more of her true self and in the long run, may no longer use an alter ego.

Only Our Temporary Home

I'm balling right now, oh well, since last night. Not because I have to shovel this one foot snow from the overnight storm that dumped on us, but because I was listening to Carrie Underwood's new song, 'Temporary Home" from Youtube as I wanted to share it in my Facebook. Now I can't help but to blog about it...

I try to avoid watching depressing news everyday but I can't ignore anymore this recent apocalypse in Haiti. This is a sign of the times. A big flashing neon sign from our Creator and He is telling us that this is only our temporary home.

I can relate to this song personally. It is powerful and deep. And I don't have to go as far as Haiti to tell you... But I just have to look around me, at people I know who are my closest friends and relatives... Kids struggling through their parents' divorce, teens not getting the right attention, single moms who try to make ends meet to support their children, sick people fighting for their lives, or ordinary families just simply working so hard in America to keep their house and their jobs in this unstable economy... and I can go on and on.

I know this is only a temporary home for me, so whatever great opportunities come my way, I have to grab it... Whatever sadness and adversities, I have to win it. Whatever prosperity and success, I have to share it. Whatever daily blessings, I have to be grateful for it. Whenever God gives me one more day to live, I want to make it a happy day. And that's my choice.

Check out this new beautiful song of my favorite singer, Carrie Underwood. And I hope that whatever your temporary home is like, I hope you believe that you can have a choice to make it worthwhile, even for just a day.

My Life Defined by High Definition and Constipation (and Future in Acting? LOL!)

Last month, I got us a new PS3/Blu-Ray Player. I now know the difference of high definition TV, and I never expected it could change my life forever. HDTV, if you'll let me define it, means I now can see Megan Fox's sweat and freckles, Angelina Jolie's deep wrinkles, Amy Adam's pores and blemishes, and Meryl Streep's fine lines all over her face, and I thought that was just absurd and unreal. I brought my quest and addiction to this high definition vision to my eye doctor yesterday during my annual eye exam, and I asked him that I want a super power high definition contact lenses! And gladly he said, that there is now such a thing and it's called toric lenses, and guess what, they even have it in my Freshlook Colorblends in color green!

Constipation. Yes, I want to talk about it. I thought I was going through such miserable phase of my life this week when I felt my body is refusing to you know what. I blamed it on my cold medicine. I blamed it on the weather. And I blamed it on my PMS. I even blamed my dogs. I finally realized that this is only a state of my mind. So here's what I did, instead of me stressing out and thinking about bloating, breaking out more blemishes, shame and hair loss, etc. because of this constipation, I have to reverse my thinking. So I thought about thinking about the toilet. Like how beautiful it is, and how peaceful I can be when I'm in the toilet. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. And it worked and it's over.

For you all following my talent audition blog, I did get a call last week, and they wanted me to come back for a second audition and workshop with a casting director in late Feb. I may sound excited in my blog but the reality here is that I thought I walked in in a wrong audition. I was hoping it was a modeling audition! So I thought this second invitation was unexpected. But hey, I plan to show up and see what this audition really is all about and if this has any part of my future. Stay tuned.

Pursuit of My Long Lost Childhood Dream

You must have seen somewhere here in my blog page that I described myself as an "Actress-Model wannabe"... Well, today was a big day for me as I had a chance to turn back and see if this long lost childhood dream is still alive and breathing....

Today, I went to a talent audition here in Park City. I was very excited. So I did what I have to do to prepare for it. Last night, I turned down a dancing and clubbing party with my friends, and healed my sinus headache, cold and sore throat. I gargled, cleansed my nasal passages with the Neti Pot, and knocked myself out with Benadryl. I woke up this morning feeling so much better and thought that it will be a very interesting day. But I don't know what to expect. All I know is they are looking for actors, models and voice over talents.

Is this an audition for America's Next Top Model, or for a new Victoria Secret campaign? I was hoping for the second one! Will I be ready to strip down my shirt and shoot a testimonial of how this Miracle Bra changed my whole life? What accent am I going to use when they make me talk? I practiced with my husband if I sound convincing with my Russian accent, or if I should talk like Penelope Cruz. And not only that, the big deal for me was... What am I going to wear? Should I arrive in this audition like a dazzling and glittery Hollywood celebrity in a spectacular furry and sequined outfit, or should I wear my tiara and ballgown and sparkly gloves and my angel wings like some enchanted Princess.... Whatever! I didn't want to be late so I looked like what I looked like yesterday going to work.

It was held at the Silverado Lodge at the Canyons Resort in Park City at 12 noon. There were few kids, and a couple of older people at that time... so I thought, this is not going to be very competitive and I felt comfortable right away. After filling out a couple of forms, they made me practice a short dramatic script. My character was Scarlet, a frustrated, undereducated 36 year-old woman married to her unsupportive husband, Mike, in a heartbreaking scene... and I'm supposed to show some tears somehow when I said the lines... "and now it's all my fault! (pause) But I never asked you to marry me."

The frustrated actress in me was reconceived and was reborn at that very moment when I was whispering my lines as I practiced behind my big hair, trying to sink in to that emotional character. The photo shoot and filming only took a couple of minutes. I looked at the camera as Scarlet as I said all my lines emotionally, and broke into tears, a la superstar Nora Aunor.

So that was my day! Hopefully they'll call me back in two weeks for a second round of audition. (So I can blog about it more!!) So, wish me luck!

2009: Indulge in Reminiscence

I had a reunion with my Dad and my sister again in California in February. Believe it or not, this is at my Uncle's wake, but we're all smiling!

I met my one and only godmother, Cora Lua (2nd to the right), for the very first time in my life during my uncle's wake in California last February.
A surprise birthday for my wonderful husband in February!
An unplanned birthday party for me in April.
A Peninsula Reunion in California in May! And my reunion to my old fling, Mr. Jose Cuervo.

A fun day in the sun in Malibu Beach with Ronald.

A girls Tea party in the summer time!

A country wedding of a friend last July.

I hosted a Miss Asia Utah Pageant at the Asian Festival in Salt Lake City. With me are the judges (former beauty queens) and my wonderful friends in the valley.

My cousin's wedding in California in October and my reunion with my family there.

Zermatt Resort Sales Department during the Halloween. I was a Japanese Doll!

Thanksgiving Party at our house with our friends!

At the 96th floor of the John Hancock Tower in Chicago! I took my husband for a drinking challenge one night. We were not caught "walking under the influence!" It was very memorable.

Zermatt Sales Holiday Party at my place!

Trinidad Family (in Utah) Holiday Photo Shoot!
New Year's Eve Party with my closest friends! What a HOOT!

Leaving 2009 as a royalty in my own world!

Our family's highlight and best Christmas blessing of the year! My brand new nephew in Houston... Everyone, meet Baby Robertson!

Now I can see that my life is a party after all!

And I am blessed having a loving family and supportive friends!

2009 was a very good year! MWAH 2009 and more MWAH for 2010!

Let's Talk About ME

"Me, Me, Me, Me!!!"

That's what personal blogs are all about, especially my blogging. I had an issue about that, too. (Oh, yeah, I'm not done about my issues, yet!) I've been doing this for a while now and it became a fun hobby and routine for me, and sometimes, I think that people thought of me as a super self-absorbed and a self-centered diva.... an egotistical, narcissistic, selfish, arrogant bitch! That's true. But that's not true. OK, fine, it is true. That's what it's supposed to be.

People read my personal vlogs because they want to know me and they hope I have something funny to say. I write my blog to share my thoughts and extremely important experiences and highlights of my day, or of my life in general. For example, my silver white hair shining on top of my head, or my smelling like Mexican food.... When I say something cliche, or a metaphor, symbolizing me or my emotions and opinions, readers react differently and they can take me so seriously. It was really not a big deal but I get bothered at times. I have to get over that, and be like Paris Hilton, who just smiles all the time, whether she's loved and hated at the same time.

But who the hell cares! I shouldn't. This is my blog and I'm going to own it. So enough with my tenth round of blogging issues, and let's start talking about the reality star of this awesome vlog... ME, ME, ME, ME!

Confessions Must Go On...

I didn't realize for sometime now that I have not been writing as much lately and I must have lost all my readers, if I ever had any. They must have thought that I was just another lame blogger after all. My 2009 confessions was not impressive to me at all.

I know what kind of happened to me. I believe this happens to a lot of new bloggers who are confused about their niche! I have no niche, period. I could not identify with any niche in blogging and that's hard. This is not a diet or beauty blog. It is not a travel, tourism, art, music, food, political or technical blog. That means that if I want to make this blogging work for me in an ideal world, I need to identify my audience and give them something that they want. I thought I failed in that category as this blog is too personal and I don't know if I have something to give to any audience at all.... And then I stopped blogging.

But what the heck? I knew few friends enjoyed reading my thoughts and my funny childhood stories. And even some few people I don't know from the other side of the globe. I must have given them something they like. Something that I can connect with them. I don't know what it is but there is this little spirit in me that said "keep blogging, keep blogging!!"

And that's what I'm going to do. Confessions must go on! All say now, AMEN!

My Blah Moment of the Day - Service Engine Soon

I'm going to welcome the new year later....

Last night as my husband was driving home from Salt Lake City, I told him that my van (yes, I drive a Dodge Mommy Van!) has "Service Engine Soon" lighted for a while now, and I asked him what should I do. He suggested that I bring my van to this mexican auto repair place in town to have it checked.

ME, dramatic: I feel I'm always getting ripped off by these mexican auto repair place, like they charge me more than they should....(didn't tell him that sometimes I feel they look at me like they haven't seen a woman before.)

Hubby, smarty: Next time you go to a car repair shop, you should not look like you, you know what I mean? Leave all your bling-bling and high heels at home, take off your make up, mess up your hair, wear a baseball cap, wear some sweat pants, and smell like habanero sauce... then you will not be ripped off.

ME, thinking: OK. So I need to look like Maxima Lavandera, and smell like mexican food.... That's HOT!

I thought my van said "Service Engine Soon" and not "Service Make-Under Soon".....