Haunted by my Childhood Nickname

Haunted by my Childhood Nickname
February 5th, 2008

Once upon a time, a cute baby girl was born at 9 ½ lbs, with curly hair, big dark eyes and humungous fat legs. She was loved by her family. She learned to talk and bubbled her first words. It was not mama, or papa or dada, but “budi… budi-budi!” She said it over and over. Her family was so proud of it and thought it was so funny and adorable, so they nicknamed her “Budi-Budi.” She liked playing bintol, tumbang lata, taguan, luksong tinik, sungkaan, jackstone and Chinese garter. She went to the tabing ilog to swim, caught some tipaklong and tutubi in the parang, took a bath in the rain, threw stones at the buyuko at their backyard, and drowned to death her neighbor’s chicks in the tub. She also liked listening to radio dramas like Simatar and Lovingly Yours, etc. while her yaya was making suyod all her kuto from her frizzy hair. And she grew up to become a fine lady and she lived happily ever after. End of story.

Well, it turned out that my life is not a fairy tale at all. “Budi-budi” was my stinky cute nickname until I was 10 years old. When I moved to ICC in Boac (1985-1988), I was Czarina Aileen Palomares to my classmates. I thought that sounded really good and hoped that people will just call me Czarina. But I moved back to my home town of Sta. Cruz and continued my high school at SCI, and I was back to being called “Budi” again.

Just like any kid, I was called many names growing up. I was known for my big round eyes, so I was called “Bulaga.” In ICC, they called me Owl or Full Moon. Some bullies have called me Aling Buding or Budang. I got in so many troubles because boys teased me with my nickname.
I thought I could get rid of my “promdi” nickname in college, but my friends heard my Tita Moonette (she was a Music Professor at St. Scho) called me “Budi” in school. Since then, my friends in college called me Boodie, or Boods!

I kept asking my self, why am I called “Budi” or “Boodie" when I have such a beautiful name “Czarina?” (FYI, Czarina is a Russian name for an Empress or Queen, or wife of the Czar.) Why didn’t my parents give me girly nicknames like my friends Twinkle, Misty, or Charry? Or royal names like Queenie or Princess? Or even door bell names like Ning-ning, Bing-bing or Ching-ching? Or I could be simply called Cza-Cza, Rina, Czar or Yna? My Park City, Utah friends have re-named me “Charing.” Well, at least that sounds like a door bell, or more like an old telephone ring.

Budi could pass for a name of an ugly pet dog. It could also be an ideal name for a big bellied, full bearded man who is a sweaty and smelly construction worker, with a beer on the left hand, and a cigarette on the right. Lastly, “Boodie or booty” here in America sounds like the slang word for "butt” or “ass.” Need I say more?

The truth is, I literally tried to kill my promdi nickname thousands of times and I’m not denying it now. Charry Red was right in her comments in my profile that “I had amnesia of my origin,” when I did not or won’t turn my back when she called me “Budi” in Greenbelt. Deep inside me, I was ashamed of my nickname.

I thought I have buried it but it keeps haunting me like an ugly mystery ghost of the past. But I guess, Budi or Boodie is still so alive and well to the memory of my hometown friends. My family and all of my relatives and cousins still call me that, whether I’m their Ate or Tita now. It looks like it won’t go away very soon. Did I remain a child in their mind? Didn’t they think that I finally grew up? Or do you all just think that it’s just stinkin’ cute?
Well, to appease you all, I finally realized that it doesn’t really matter what you all call me now. Boodie, or Charing, or Czarina. I’m still your old friend, and still the same small town girl promdi province.